A Job To Die For...

"A lot of people would kill for my job, but I also think my job would kill a lot of people."-
Patrick Mulhearn (Director of Studio Operations for Raleigh Studios Baton Rouge) comment from Twitter

The life of a production employee...what a life...

I've worked as an assistant to talent managers/producers and while that was a lot!...working on a tv show or movie is a whole 'nother beast! It's hard to even discuss with people that don't work in the industry. I often send and receive emails from colleagues with rants about some foolishness that happened on the current job. I long stopped talking about work with my family and friends because it's the hardest thing in the world to describe. Working in production sucks, is the best thing since sliced bread, drains the life out of you, makes you feel unstoppable, causes you to question your intellegience and reveals inner strength you never knew you possessed all at the same time. Everyone gripes about their job at one time or another so here's my rant about mine...

A day in the life from my view in the production office...

• I work behind (WAAAAAAYYYYYYYY) behind the scenes in film/television productions. I mostly work in the production office-sometimes a travel coordinator, sometimes production secretary, sometimes assistant to to producers/directors. These jobs offer great variety: every day is an adventure, no day is the same. The duties/expectations are varied and change from moment to moment. Flexiblility is not only encouraged but is a requirement because there are no steadfast rules in production. Organization is highly effective and since that's one of my best work qualities, it is an ideal work environment for me. I'm also super anal, can focus on 20 different tasks at one time-another plus for working in film/tv.
  
• I meet tons of new people-each new show is full of new people-the longer you work, the more you see that the circle is small and you begin to see the same people from job to job. Depending on your department, you get to interact with some top-notch industry people who get to see your work ethic direct and in person-I'm pretty lucky because my roles in the office cause me to have to talk to mostly everyone on the show. About 75% of the people you work with will be the most talented, creative bunch you've ever met...we'll discuss the other 25 shortly.
  
• There's always food on productions-since you work ALL DAY you're not allowed to go out so there's always snacks and they order lunch in (sometimes dinner too if you work a certain amount of hours-on set, there must be a full meal every 6 hours). Generally, there's a nice mix of healthy options available too!
  
• You get cool perks when you work on the shows-hotel discounts, restaurant discounts, discounts to the gym, low cost to free tickets to shows/concerts/festivals. Also NOBODY parties like film/tv people! Shows generally start with welcome party, then there's a wrap party, not to mention department dinners/get togethers. That stuff is super fun! At the end of the show, you generally get a wrap gift-they range from tshirts on up to leather jackets.
  
• The pay is cool too and you save a lot of money b/c you aren't spending much on food-you eat all day at work! Sometimes on the shows you can get cool with whoever drives the gas truck (they've got to keep all those vehicles gassed up) so you can ride free too.
• You learn so much about the production of films/tv shows from the inside out. You see what it takes to make an idea on a piece of paper turn into greatness on the screen. The term "movie magic" is not being facetious-it's amazing how many moving parts are involved to bring viewers 2 hours in the theatre or 30 minutes a week for your favorite sitcoms!
• Film/TV production jobs are not for the faint of heart. You work a minimum 12-hour day/5 days a week. Sometimes you have to work a 6th day. You get paid decent-you might make $1,000/week (I do not but just for example) BUT you EARN it-a work day is TWELVE WHOLE HOURS with a 30 minute unpaid lunch break. You don't REALLY get a lunch break either, you eat while you work. Your day might start at 6am or 6pm but you will work 12 hours-so yes sometimes it means being up all night. There is also overtime-sometimes the day will run over and you have to work over. Depending on your department and your deal, you may or may not get paid to do so. That $1000/week is based on a day rate of $200-for the day so that's all you get.
  
• While you do get free food it's not always up to you what you are going to eat. It's an entire office of people so its what the majority wants (it's not like someone is going to go to Burger King for you, Taco Bell for someone else, etc.). In general that is fine but say you don't like Thai food and on this particular day, the menu that comes around is for Thai-oh well, it's eat that or eat that cold breakfast food or a sandwich or something from craft service.
• Remember that 25%...well the majority of people you work with are amazing (most creative, intelligent, get-it-done people you'll ever meet). There's a group of them though that will drive you mad. You wonder how they even got such a coveted job! There's the asshole-every show has one that is just rude for no reason. There's the dumbass-no matter what you ask of them, they will just eff it up. There's the lazy azz-always looking for an easy way out. There's the passer offer-they are good at delegating all of their responsibilities. There's the micro-manager-doesn't delegate anything. There's the drama queen-every day telling you way TMI that's inappropriate at any job. It is simply insane.
• You will not sleep much while working on a show. You have to be at work 12 hours/a day (I say that so much because no one ever gets why I am never around-I work ALL DAY!). Right now I work from 8am-8:30pm. It takes me an hour to get to work; 30 minutes to get home so I'm gone from 7am-9pm M-F. Factor in time to get ready in the morning and to get settled for bed you've got 6am-10pm. Not much time for anything else but sleep! It's not a good,deep sleep either. Your mind is constantly trying to figure out if you got everything done or wondering if you f-d something up or anticipating the drama sure to come the next day. Most weekends, I'm too tired to do anything. I stay in bed or on the sofa watching TV/movies, catching up on books/magazines.
  
• The job makes you crazy-during the workday I experience tons of highs and lows. People test you constantly on crazy shit and it drives me up a wall. Which brings up another point, most of the time the drama is over dumb stuff that doesn't really affect anything-I've seen a woman yell at a worker for 27 minutes straight over the brand of ranch dressing he bought for the fridge in the kitchen! Freak outs/meltdowns happen often and when things are calm, it's hard to enjoy it (always anticipating the next wave of drama).
• Why would anyone do it? For me, there's nothing like it in the world! It's an amazing process that is truly a team effort. Everyone plays a part-from the highest paid star to the guy who comes to pick up the trash at the end of the day...if you take anyone out of the mix, something will not work! Working in the production industry fuels my creative drive.
  

So no matter how much crap I talk about it, how many times I say this job is my last job, I have no idea of anything else I'd choose to do! Until I can fully support myself on my creative endeavors, this is the life for me...it ain't for everybody!

How It All Works Out...

Last night I watched the NFL Hall of Fame inductions on ESPN. I enjoy when great athletes give speeches about their accomplishments - I generally find inspiration in their words. I was moved by Jerry Rice's long (long) speech and fired up after Floyd Little spoke but Emmitt Smith was the one that truly inspired me. The three-time Super Bowl champion running back holds the NFL record for career rushing yards but last night he delivered an impassioned speech that plainly stated some realities on how to turn your dreams into reality.

Smith grew up in Pensacola, Florida and dreamed of playing for the Dallas Cowboys as a kid. When he was up for the NFL draft, he was projected to go in the top 10. When the draft moved into the No. 11 spot and he had not been selected, he began to panic trying to figure out why he had not been selected. Long story short, while he was panicking, the Dallas Cowboys were behind the scenes making moves to sign him. AHA moment for real!!! While he was focused on at what spot he'd be selected, his biggest childhood dream was about to be realized. Funny how that happens...we (I) get so caught up in what isn't happening, sometimes we can't see what is being put together on our behalf.

We all have dreams and deep rooted desires. I truly believe the ones that we've carried with us since childhood are our divine appointments. I happen to be a HUGE dreamer and have had many dreams come to pass. My biggest dream/desire is to be a leader in the entertainment industry. Emmitt Smith's speech helped me to see that I've been placing my focus on the wrong thing. When certain situations don't pan out in my favor, I can get confused and lose focus. I began to second guess myself and my goals. What if, like Emmitt, the Universe is cooking up a way to deliver my biggest dreams while I'm focused on one small thing that I feel can get me to where I want to go?

I think his speech shined some light on my recent funk (feeling down about The Hollywood Reporter Next Generation List). What if while I'm worried about the list, I'm about to be blessed with a true realization of my complete dreams? I'm excited and hopefully that that is exactly what is happening! Another thing he spoke on was that there is a difference between having a dream and fulfilling a destiny...I'm about fulfilling my destiny.

Preach Kanye Preach

So if you know me you know I LOVE Kanye West. I feel he says/does the things I would do if I had balls. He literally is calling folk like me out...while I'm not your favorite underground rap or music artist, I am someone who is not expressing myself creatively which is a waste of my gifts. I'm no longer willing to do that. I'm ready to live full out regardless of how it is received. Check out Kanye's speech to Rolling Stone writers re:his new album. Turn it up around the 1:08 mark.

Back to School

August is upon us - time for back to school! Well I've decided I'm going back to school this year...life school that is. There are some lessons that are very pressing and I'm ready to learn them! I've devised my own curriculum and am dedicated to passing all my courses. My major course of study is self development with a focus on a more holistic lifestyle as opposed to a compartmentalized existence. I worked during high school, college and law school and am confident I can do my "school" work and maintain my day job. Here are the classes I have enrolled in:

• Career Development: This is a class I'm looking forward to. I've spent a great deal of my life working. Working REALLY hard. I now desire to work smarter. I'm ready to couple that shear brawn with focus on a particular goal. The coursebook for this class is "I Can Do Anything If Only I Knew What It Was", and the final is a complete, concise business plan and new website.
• Health/Physical Fitness: This is a HUGE course b/c it will have lasting implications on my life. I've got to get my health together. It is not that I'm NOT healthy but I'm utilizing all that I know about health and fitness. I know that I should do 30-45 minutes of cardio/4 times a week. I know I should be eating breakfast everyday. I know I need more fruits and veggies and water. I know I know I know. So since I know I must implement right? This class uses a ton of material and meets outdoors or at a gym (depending on if my job has a lowered rate) four times a week.
• Financial Freedom: I WANT TO BE FREE! Once again as I said earlier I've been working the majority of my life. My bank account does not reflect that fact. I have got to do better in this department. I've got to make several small changes and one HUGE change. I need to aggressively save for a bit. I also need to create and stick to a budget (this is going to be tough for Ms. If I Want That I Buy That). My budget has to protect my most valuable asset as well - my time! I operate well when I follow a schedule. My instructor for this course is Suze Orman and my Agape Financial Freedom guide.
  

I'd like to pick up a writing class as well. I haven't found a program I like but I am searching. I really believe this is my time and I'm willing to go above and beyond to achieve my goals!

If You Ask Me I'm Ready ...

Unthinkable - Impossible to imagine; inconceivable. Contrary to what is plausible or probable. Not to be thought of or considered.

When I first heard the Alicia Keys song "Unthinkable," I immediately found that it resonated with me. I was so drawn to it and I assumed it was because of the guy I was digging. If that situation had worked out it would have been unthinkable! LOL! It didn't pan out so but I still get a really good feeling when I hear the song. So I began to examine the word "Un-THINK-able". Hmmmm what things do I need to un-think?
What would happen if I...

• I completed my documentary and submitted it to film festivals?
• I finished writing this short I've been playing around with forever?
• I stopped trying to be "right" and just went with my gut?
• I went after the deepest desires of my heart?
• I found out the true power I possess?
• I committed whole entirely to a healthier lifestyle?
• I found the strength to release all addictions?
• I opened up myself to love all the time no matter what?
• I saw the good in all situations?
• Found a way to work with people when they were imperfect instead of just shutting down?
• Forgave myself for everything?
• Accepted people (including myself) for who they are instead of holding them to my standards?
• Got out out of my head and stopped over-thinking everything?
  
• Pour myself into my own projects they way I pour myself into the work of others?
• Love myself unconditionally?
• Acknowledge that I'm a child of the most high so no matter what I'm ok?
• Let go of everything I think I have in pursuit of what I am to become?
  

If I do the unthinkable, will I be viewed as crazy? The reality is that I'm driving myself crazy debating and procrastinating. I'm not sure I'm fully prepared for what shall come, but I do know without a doubt that I'm ready...

My Alter Ego? Ms. Pepper Potts

During the month of May, I committed to getting my stuff together. I've been putting in WORK! I worked on my eating habits, worked out more and got my affirmation and meditation game RIGHT! I've never been this focused so I thought it was time to release my alter ego (she's been acting up trying to get out!). As a symbolic welcome that inner me, I got a huge makeover. Watch ...


(Dana Chanel is my hair stylist and she ROCKS! Jonathan Hamilton did my entire look for the night - makeup, hairstyling (styling the hair Dana made look like it grew from my roots!), AND he designed the dress IN ONE DAY! Without ever putting a tape measure to me! No wonder his fashion line JerkandJon is on its way!! I love my people!!! They are so talented and amazing! I'm grateful they are in my world!!!)

Lest I Forget ...

I've been involved in three car accidents in my life. The last one was so random yet horrible it shapes a lot of my life. Its a long story but the moral is this - things are never as bad as they seem. When I had that wreck, everything changed. My life was downgraded in the worse way. I had moved to Houston for school and the plan was that I'd live at home. But I was now living at home with no car! I was devastated. I literally had to catch the bus for school and we since we lived in the hood for real, my bus stop also happened to be the pickup spot for hookers. Things were not great and I could not imagine they'd ever get better. (For instance, after waiting four months for my car to be fixed, I found out it was totaled.) Everyday was darker than the one before (I had never lived with my mom so that was an adjustment; no car; no money because I was paying for school; nothing.) But you know what, one day things got better. I don't remember how it happened or what got better, it just did. One day things were just okay. I need to remember that story right now. Things are great, good things are happening-wonderful things are happening but something feels off. I can't let it get me down though, I've been here before and I succeeded. So I can't forget where I've come from as I continue to forge the path of where I'm going. I refuse to forget ... or give up. I'm all in.