No Definition Can Hold Me

When I used to work at Fox Sports, liquor sponsors would always give us cool stuff so we could sell their product. I remember this one TV shirt I got from the Seagram's gin guy. It was so cute - it was baby blue and on the front it said "No Definition Can Hold Me" (although it was a poor marketing tool b/c Seagram's was really small in the back). I loved that shirt and wore it till it was just unwearable.

What is ironic is that now that I'm doing all this spirit work, I'm realizing that there are no definitions that can hold me ... well not only me but mankind. I used to be really big on "describe yourself" or "this is how I see myself". Those labels are nothing more than words - they just can't hold me.

For instance, I've realized that I can be really concerned with my image. There have been times when I was literally worried (like agonizingly worried) about what someone thought of me and said to or about me - I was really into the opinion's of others. The thing is no matter what they said or thought I wouldn't agree - "She thinks I'm nice, she just don't know." "How are y'all going to say I'm dramatic?" "He thinks I'm a bitch, clearly he doesn't know me." The point is these opinions, comments, questions and concerns really don't matter because at the end of the day, these opinions are just that - a belief or judgement with no proof.

I was giving the world WAY too much authority in who I'd be or what I'd do or how I'd react to situations. My definition of myself was coming from these random thoughts that people (including myself at times) held that were just not enough to "define" me - I'm way too big to define. Yes, sometimes I'm silly, nice, accommodating, selfish, lazy, on point, over analytical, too sensitive, not concerned enough, vain, kindhearted, opinionated, bitchy, junky, super anal, loving, emotional, withdrawn, sharing, giving, crazy sexy cool, judgemental ... you get the point. I can be a lot of things at any given time but those qualities are not ME.

There is no person, word or quality that defines - which means to set forth the meaning of or identify the essential qualities of - DaVida. I am simply who I am and that realization has made the last couple of days so much easier to handle. Instead of living up to some definition, I'm simple doing ME - whatever it is at the moment.