Four Hundred Posts and Two Years Ago...

Four hundred posts ago in March of 2008, you all met me, a girl convinced her name was a lie. I've loved every moment of this blog and have grown so much as a result of it. I've met new friends and allowed my closest friends to know me more. I've revealed so much and found an outlet for so much going on in my world. This has been the home for my ideas, dreams, fears, deepest desires, mind blowing revelations and random chatter for two years. I've grown and decided it was time for a change. I will miss Introducing DaVida Chanel...and now that you know me I hope you'll come over to my new blog with me. I'm really excited but I will miss the times here :( Every moving on always causes a little sadness (but I don't have to explain that you know me by now!)...
I look forward to continuing the journey at my new home on the world wide web. Please re-follow or begin to follow OMIGOSH LET ME TELL YOU at it's new home www.davidachanel.com.

See you soon!


Dating can be ummm...interesting. Especially if you have kids or joint accounts! This video sounds like several bad breakups I've heard about...I guess it is so true that it is hilarious! Enjoy...(shout out to the girl on Tumblr who put me on it!)


Just Whip It!!!!

I'm infatuated with little miss Willow Smith! This is such a cute and creative video and ULTRA age appropriate! I think it is super super cute!!!


New Orleans Film Fest 2010

I love love love film festivals. During the summer of 2004, I had two internships in Los Angeles and was at the Los Angeles Film Festival. It was an amazing experience - 10 days FULL OF MOVIES from up and coming film makers starring top talent, as well as soon to be released independent films that were making the circuit rounds. Not only were there all types of movies- documentaries, shorts, narratives-there would be great panels and question/answer periods following the film with the filmmakers and actors. That experience solidified my desire to be a filmmaker.

When I moved to New Orleans, I was thrilled to see they had a film festival but was hesitant to believe it would be any good. Last year was my first year and I must say I was impressed: I got to see several great indie films made by Louisiana natives as well as Francis Ford Coppola's TETRO, his first original screenplay in four decades! I knew I'd go back again this year and was beyond excited when the list of films playing was announced. I bought a six film pass and even booked a hotel in town so that I can see as many movies as possible this weekend (work makes the weekday screenings near impossible).

I saw some great narrative shorts during the day, my fav being THE CYCLE centered around a Bed Stuy community. Last night several friends and I went to go see NIGHT CATCHES US. It was starring Kerry Washington and New Orleans native Anthony Mackie. The film was written, directed and produced by Tanya Hamilton (a woman!!!) and was her debut film. We were in for a special treat as Anthony Mackie was on hand to introduce the movie as well as do questions and answers after. The film was beautifully shot, featured great talent (including that guy who played Marlo in The Wire-I still don't like him b/c of that role lol), and had a nice storyline. Mackie was awesome - backstory: one of my old bosses repped Frankie Flowers who wrote and directed HAVEN in which Mackie starred. Since then I've been a fan of his work and always admired how as an African-American actor, he found compelling independent roles. He's someone I consider to be a thespian as opposed to just an actor because he appears to really seek out roles that most people don't think exist. He's played a bit of everything including the late Tupac Shakur. I'm a fan so when he got up to answer questions, I had to ask how he got his representation to be on board with his decisions to do these smaller films (my experience in the management world taught me that most people go for the money roles and don't value the indie route).

His response was that he got people who understood his vision from the beginning. He elaborated by saying that when pursuing acting or any artistic craft you must be true to only one person: YOU! He said this is a business where you can do what you want regardless of other people's thoughts or opinions. He encouraged us to really pursue what we desired, the stories we wanted to tell because at the end of the day, that is all that matters. (And he said his team really reviews material presented correctly and they read a lot-not everything, but all of the compelling projects get a look).

That was the highlight of the fest for me (even though I have a whole day of movies to see today). My passion for this is so charged and I'm excited for all that is to come for me creatively. Film festivals are encouraging and remind me that it can be done! And what better place than New Orleans to be reminded that anything is possible!!!


A Job To Die For...

"A lot of people would kill for my job, but I also think my job would kill a lot of people."-
Patrick Mulhearn (Director of Studio Operations for Raleigh Studios Baton Rouge) comment from Twitter

The life of a production employee...what a life...

I've worked as an assistant to talent managers/producers and while that was a lot!...working on a tv show or movie is a whole 'nother beast! It's hard to even discuss with people that don't work in the industry. I often send and receive emails from colleagues with rants about some foolishness that happened on the current job. I long stopped talking about work with my family and friends because it's the hardest thing in the world to describe. Working in production sucks, is the best thing since sliced bread, drains the life out of you, makes you feel unstoppable, causes you to question your intellegience and reveals inner strength you never knew you possessed all at the same time. Everyone gripes about their job at one time or another so here's my rant about mine...

A day in the life from my view in the production office...
  • I work behind (WAAAAAAYYYYYYYY) behind the scenes in film/television productions. I mostly work in the production office-sometimes a travel coordinator, sometimes production secretary, sometimes assistant to to producers/directors. These jobs offer great variety: every day is an adventure, no day is the same. The duties/expectations are varied and change from moment to moment. Flexiblility is not only encouraged but is a requirement because there are no steadfast rules in production. Organization is highly effective and since that's one of my best work qualities, it is an ideal work environment for me. I'm also super anal, can focus on 20 different tasks at one time-another plus for working in film/tv.
  • I meet tons of new people-each new show is full of new people-the longer you work, the more you see that the circle is small and you begin to see the same people from job to job. Depending on your department, you get to interact with some top-notch industry people who get to see your work ethic direct and in person-I'm pretty lucky because my roles in the office cause me to have to talk to mostly everyone on the show. About 75% of the people you work with will be the most talented, creative bunch you've ever met...we'll discuss the other 25 shortly.
  • There's always food on productions-since you work ALL DAY you're not allowed to go out so there's always snacks and they order lunch in (sometimes dinner too if you work a certain amount of hours-on set, there must be a full meal every 6 hours). Generally, there's a nice mix of healthy options available too!
  • You get cool perks when you work on the shows-hotel discounts, restaurant discounts, discounts to the gym, low cost to free tickets to shows/concerts/festivals. Also NOBODY parties like film/tv people! Shows generally start with welcome party, then there's a wrap party, not to mention department dinners/get togethers. That stuff is super fun! At the end of the show, you generally get a wrap gift-they range from tshirts on up to leather jackets.
  • The pay is cool too and you save a lot of money b/c you aren't spending much on food-you eat all day at work! Sometimes on the shows you can get cool with whoever drives the gas truck (they've got to keep all those vehicles gassed up) so you can ride free too.
  • You learn so much about the production of films/tv shows from the inside out. You see what it takes to make an idea on a piece of paper turn into greatness on the screen. The term "movie magic" is not being facetious-it's amazing how many moving parts are involved to bring viewers 2 hours in the theatre or 30 minutes a week for your favorite sitcoms!
  • Film/TV production jobs are not for the faint of heart. You work a minimum 12-hour day/5 days a week. Sometimes you have to work a 6th day. You get paid decent-you might make $1,000/week (I do not but just for example) BUT you EARN it-a work day is TWELVE WHOLE HOURS with a 30 minute unpaid lunch break. You don't REALLY get a lunch break either, you eat while you work. Your day might start at 6am or 6pm but you will work 12 hours-so yes sometimes it means being up all night. There is also overtime-sometimes the day will run over and you have to work over. Depending on your department and your deal, you may or may not get paid to do so. That $1000/week is based on a day rate of $200-for the day so that's all you get.
  • While you do get free food it's not always up to you what you are going to eat. It's an entire office of people so its what the majority wants (it's not like someone is going to go to Burger King for you, Taco Bell for someone else, etc.). In general that is fine but say you don't like Thai food and on this particular day, the menu that comes around is for Thai-oh well, it's eat that or eat that cold breakfast food or a sandwich or something from craft service.
  • Remember that 25%...well the majority of people you work with are amazing (most creative, intelligent, get-it-done people you'll ever meet). There's a group of them though that will drive you mad. You wonder how they even got such a coveted job! There's the asshole-every show has one that is just rude for no reason. There's the dumbass-no matter what you ask of them, they will just eff it up. There's the lazy azz-always looking for an easy way out. There's the passer offer-they are good at delegating all of their responsibilities. There's the micro-manager-doesn't delegate anything. There's the drama queen-every day telling you way TMI that's inappropriate at any job. It is simply insane.
  • You will not sleep much while working on a show. You have to be at work 12 hours/a day (I say that so much because no one ever gets why I am never around-I work ALL DAY!). Right now I work from 8am-8:30pm. It takes me an hour to get to work; 30 minutes to get home so I'm gone from 7am-9pm M-F. Factor in time to get ready in the morning and to get settled for bed you've got 6am-10pm. Not much time for anything else but sleep! It's not a good,deep sleep either. Your mind is constantly trying to figure out if you got everything done or wondering if you f-d something up or anticipating the drama sure to come the next day. Most weekends, I'm too tired to do anything. I stay in bed or on the sofa watching TV/movies, catching up on books/magazines.
  • The job makes you crazy-during the workday I experience tons of highs and lows. People test you constantly on crazy shit and it drives me up a wall. Which brings up another point, most of the time the drama is over dumb stuff that doesn't really affect anything-I've seen a woman yell at a worker for 27 minutes straight over the brand of ranch dressing he bought for the fridge in the kitchen! Freak outs/meltdowns happen often and when things are calm, it's hard to enjoy it (always anticipating the next wave of drama).
  • Why would anyone do it? For me, there's nothing like it in the world! It's an amazing process that is truly a team effort. Everyone plays a part-from the highest paid star to the guy who comes to pick up the trash at the end of the day...if you take anyone out of the mix, something will not work! Working in the production industry fuels my creative drive.
So no matter how much crap I talk about it, how many times I say this job is my last job, I have no idea of anything else I'd choose to do! Until I can fully support myself on my creative endeavors, this is the life for me...it ain't for everybody!


Chatting It Up...

Today was (is) pretty blllllllllaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh. I was up at 5 to make my flight, got off the plane, hopped in my car then drove 1.5 hours to work. Siiiiiiiggggggggghhhhh. Friday was a tough day so I was not looking forward to the gig at all today. Sometimes it is just like that. Well, I got a special surprise!
Last year I read a book called THE HOST. It is fiction but it made me think what if this were true (all fiction comes from some source of non-fiction right?). Anyway, the book had me questioning everything for a while there. I always thought it would be cool to meet the author, pick her brain a bit about how the story came to be. Today was that day! I'm excited :) (She wrote a few other books I loved as well but since its SUPPOSED to be a secret where I work so I guess I'll keep that part hush and wrap this post up now before I give too much info.)


What Next?!?

Check out that picture...know who it is? That's James Franco...Yep this James Franco from Spiderman (and way too much else to list). Anyway, when I saw this pic, it embodied what I'm experiencing today. I want something else. I can't quite describe it but my current situation is simply not enough. I have a ton to be grateful for and I realize and acknowledge that but I am ready for something...else. I am sure I don't want to be a man (as Franco became a woman for this pic) but I just want to have a different experience. There's nothing more I can say that wouldn't be repetitive so I'll stop now. I just want what is next...


I'll Pay For It If I Want It

I used to love this rapper Soulja Slim from New Orleans-he was killed and his career got cut off :( My favorite song of his was "I'll Pay For It". The chorus was, "I'll pay for it, if I want it." Today I was struggling when the alarm went off at5:45am. The bed was so warm and comfy-I could have laid there all day. But there are some things I want-I want a firmer, toned body; I want greater flexibility; I want to be healthy! What am I willing to pay for it? Definitely willing to pay 30 minutes a day/4days a week and switching my eating habits to make those goals a reality! As I was working out, my mind went back to this weekend at writer's group. My piece was in need of much work. The primary reason is because I just sat down one day and started writing. I didn't do any of the fundamental steps of learning I learned in the past. I want to write a great story and I'm willing to pay for it by going back to the drawing board and starting over with my key steps in place. So while Soulja Slim was talking about paying for some errr....love and affection, I want some things that are a little more difficult to attain. But like Slim, I'm definitely willing to pay for what I want!


Fave Five Fridays-Oct 1

Oooohhhhhwwwweeee it is Friday!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!! Here's my top five of the week:

  1. October - I absolutely love the month of October! The weather starts to cool off after a hot summer and night begins to come earlier. Football is in gear and basketball practices get under way. Because the weather is so nice, I can sport sandals one day, boots the next. Ahhhh I love October!!!
  2. Apple Cider Vinegar - A while ago I heard that Fergie drinks apple cider vinegar to lose weight. Without getting the entire story, I went out, bought a bottle and tried to gulp it down as often as possible. It was gross and after two days I quit. This week I ran across a more detailed article about the vinegar. It said to mix the vinegar with water and drink it throughout the day for a multitude of health benefits (and apparently it does help with the weight loss and better skin!). I'm enjoying the apple cider vinegar quite a bit!
  3. "As A Man Thinketh" by James Allen- This was a small but powerful book! I really enjoyed it. "Circumstance does not make the man, it reveals him to himself," was a quote that really touched me from the book.
  4. Matthew LaCorte - These days a lot of people say they support things and are willing to fight for them. Click here to read about 17 year old Matthew LaCorte's efforts to get the album of his favorite rapper released.
  5. You Tube - YouTube provides so much valuable information...but some of the videos are HILARIOUS. Check out my fav from this week!


Fantasy Date Nite

As independent as I am and as much as I enjoy my single life, I would like to have a great date night. In a perfect world...(if this were a movie this is where the screen would go into a dream sequence)
I'd go over to see my boo who'd have an amazing place. When he opened the door he'd be so estastic to see me that he'd embrace me with a huge hug. I would be coming over straight from the store with fresh salad ingredients and a bottle of wine margarita ingredients. He'd have some food on the grill and have on ESPN...but on mute because he'd have his iPod on shuffle. I'd make us a couple of drinks and hop onto the counter and we'd talk about the day. When the meat and veggies were near done, I'd whip up the salad and set the table. We'd eat then clean up the kitchen a bit before relaxing. I'd take a shower and throw on one of his button down shirts and we'd have some more drinks and play a board game UNO! I'd be whipping his behind so he'd suggest a movie. We'd nestle in on the coach and watch something good...like LOVE JONES or FIGHT CLUB. Sigh....(and now the movie would return to real life.)

Declaring My Independence

This morning I woke up determined-I was going to get a Louisiana license and inspection sticker so that I no longer had to be afraid of "driving dirty"(driving with expired tags). I usually don't care-the reason being is b/c my not having valid registration is technically a California issue and the State of Louisiana can't lawfully arrest me on a California matter. I got a ticket this summer though (they can fine me for not switching my license plate if I'm living here over 30 days) and my Grandmother was getting so worked up about my expired tags, it was making me nervous. I was quite content and didn't let it bother me, but since I've been watching The Wire, I know how some cops can be so, today was the day.

This process has been going on for some time. (Note of caution: NEVER try to switch your tags during a Mercury Retrograde!) After months of dealing with the Louisiana DMV, the California DMV and my lien holder, I finally had all my paperwork and was ready. I got permission to come into work late and was all set. First stop, the DMV. It was quick and painless-I was in and out in 10 minutes with my new tags. A difference b/n Cali and Louisiana is that this state requires an inspection sticker (issued by local service stations). So I pull up to the service station. While the clerk was helping another customer (and older man), I popped my trunk, took out my screwdriver and switched my plates. I saw the man staring at me the whole time. When I was done, he asked if I had a boyfriend, I said no. He said are you like 22? 24? I said no, I'm a bit older. He said oh that's why you are so "independent". While he wasn't rude, his tone had a bit of concern. When I was done, I called my Granny so she could rest her nerves. She said oh great now you just have to get your uncle to switch your plates. When I replied that I already had, she said it too: "You are just so independent."She had that same kind of tone that the man at the station did, but since she always slips into that mode when I do things that are less than girl, I knew what she was getting at.

A while ago a guy friend contacted me about doing some work for him. He's a writer and was doing a project about Black love (which was a red flag since I believe there is only LOVE not to be bound by color but I digress). In our third conversation, he said he wanted to start a campaign to ban single women using the term "independent" as an adjective (example: I'm an independent woman). He said the phrase isolates men and makes it seem as if the women do not need them for anything. Because I had NO job at the time, I didn't really say how I felt because I didn't want to ruin the potential incoming business (didn't matter, it fell apart shortly after). Today the tone my Granny and the random guy had reminded me of this sentiment. I feel like they had the same type of feeling-like my independence had some effect on my being in a relationship or rather my not being in a relationship.

Here's the thing, while I truly desire and want to be in a loving, caring relationship, I do not NEED someone else for anything in my life. Need indicates a condition of lack or some requirement to make something whole. I'm already WHOLE and COMPLETE. I'm not going to sit around and wait for someone else to do things I'm capable of doing for myself. I don't want a partner who'd be anything but proud to have a woman that carries her own. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to be changing license plates forever and I'd love to be able to turn that over to my lover (and he could DEFINITELY wash my car and get my repairs done this weekend...again I digress lol) but if he were unable to do something, I'm not gonna cry. I will just get it done. I would that would be applauded.

So to that short term boss, my dear dear grandmother and to the guy at the gas station, yes, I happen to be very VERY independent, a quality in which I take great pride. I know deep down they (well actually just my Granny) are really concerned for me. I also know that my love/life partner is on the way and my independence won't deter him at all! When we meet, we'll be two complete individuals who don't NEED each other but sure will WANT each other a whole lot!

Sometimes I Do This...

Sometimes I work as a travel coordinator...here's a peak into what I do a lot of the time in that position...


I Love My Job

Since I began to work in physical production, I get to meet new and interesting people on every new job. One of my favorite people to work for to date was Clark Johnson. I served as his assistant on the pilot of DELTA BLUES (later changed to MEMPHIS BEAT). Clark is an amazing person! Super down to Earth, really engaging and definitely about supporting local businesses and workers. It was so great to work with him! I've been watching THE WIRE and started Season 5 last night. I knew that Clark had directed the show during the first season. He told me when we wrapped DELTA BLUES that I should get into THE WIRE. HE was right - I LOVE IT! He told me he made a brief appearance in Season 5. He's a jokester and his "appearance" is as one of the main characters during the season! I saw the first episode of the last season last night and he's good! (He starred in HOMICIDE back in the day but I never saw that show either.) Anyway, yet another example of an industry vet that does not place himself in a box! While there are 700,000 things that work my nerves about my career choice, opportunities to work closely with greats such as Clark are amazing. I feel so fortunate and hope that my future work somehow reflects all the great mentors I've had throughout my career!

Another Reason to Love Beyonce

You've got to know by now that I love some Beyonce...another reason why see here. Apparently this is at a block party on the street where Jay-Z's mother lives...

Just The Way I Am!!!

This morning I woke feeling extra great! When I turned off my phone alarm, I noticed I had a missed text from a friend that gave birth to a beautiful baby girl last night (welcome to the world Baby Leila!!!). That made me feel good. And our nice boost of cool fall weather made me want to sport my fav ankle boots. I decided to dress up my normal black tee and jeans and spruce up my hair and makeup a tad bit. Then I got in the car to drive to work and Bruno Mars' song "Just The Way You Are". I love love love this song! (I admit, it may be one that gets played so much that by Christmas I'll probably hate it but for right now it is awesome!) This song made me feel so good to be just as I am! I was looking in the mirror when it came on about to mess with a pimple on on my cheek but as I sang "Girl You're Amazing Just The Way You Are" I forgot about the little zit. I can tend to overemphasize the negative and get caught up in what's not right, but I'm a pretty amazing girl when I think about it!!! Here's the video-I hope you realize that YOU too are amazing right now!!!


It's Everything With Chaun Vaugh

At 6:30pm (CST) today I'll be the guest on IT'S EVERYTHING WITH CHAUN VAUGHN. If you're free check me out! (I'll go easy on drinks during the Saints game so that I'll be alert and ready to answer questions! LOL!) Here's the link: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/chaun-vaughn


Waiting for Superman

I've been really into The Wire lately and I'm currently on Season 4 which deals heavily with kids in the Baltimore school system. It makes me so sad about the current state of our educational system. So I was elated to see that a documentary filmmaker tackled the subject. This is a must see!!!


I'm Still Here Review

Last night I saw, "I'm Still Here," a film exploring successful actor Joaquin Phoenix's decision to retire and become a rapper. It was...actually very good-in a strange and disturbing way.I decided I wanted to see this movie when I saw his David Letterman interview months ago. The interview was bizarre to say the least. He did nothing to promote his new movie in fact, he made me not want to see it, but I wanted to know more about this rap career of his. I had hoped he'd be good. I'm a fan of people who are talented in a multitude of ways that share their talent. This was not the case. He sucked as a rapper. Like REALLY sucked. His decision to leave acting seemed not well thought either-it seemed like he was pretty jealous of Leonardo and Tobey Maguire and how they got roles that alluded him. He and his brother in law Casey Affleck (who directed the film and did quite a good job) were in a charity play and he was jealous over the amount of lines he had in comparison to Casey. I honestly feel he came up with the plot to make that play his last acting role to upstage Casey.
It took a while for me to process what I thought of the movie. On one hand it's easy to dismiss as a publicity hoax or a fraud documentary. On the other hand, it is by far Phoenix's best performance EVER! He was so dedicated to the role it was amazing. He was the ultimate asshole/insecure actor ever played on film. He was so utterly Hollywood that I think it would be hard for folk in the industry to see it because at some point he was doing some dumb thing that they do all the time. I also find it interesting that so few people were interested in seeing this movie when we watch that type of stuff on reality tv all the time.
The most compelling part of the movie was when he left The David Letterman Show. On stage with Dave he maintained the act the entire time but after you got to see some real and raw emotion. Regardless to if the film was a hoax or not, he realized that he had taken a gamble that would likely not pay off. He felt his decision to do this film and pursue JP had been a terrible terrible mistake that may cost him his career and he was afraid. That fear was so real that I was no longer concerned with the validity of the film. I had thoroughly enjoyed my experience. And I think if he follows this up with a great "regular" movie role and does everything Hollywood asks (the publicity tours, lose weight, clean up his look), his career will be just fine.


9.17.10 Fave Five Friday

I must say that this has been an awesome week full of great things/new experiences-so much so that narrowing this week's top five was tough...but I was able to get them in no problems!

    This year I got to work with Kourtney Heart, a 17-year old singer/songwriter from New Orleans. I got to work closely with her and her manager to come up with her PR campaign. One night I had a conversation with she and her mom that made me go home and start getting my priorities in order. At 16, she told me how singing was her purpose and how she'd started off singing songs about things she was passionate about (for instance, she remixed Irreplaceable into a stop smoking song). She was so focused that I was glad to be a part of her team. This week her first EP was released via iTunes. It's a concept piece that tells the story of a young girl dealing with love. It's so funny because the songs really take me back-"Wish I Were Older" makes me feel just like I did in the 10th grade when I was digging this boy that was too old (and all wrong in retrospect) but at the time I just knew he was the one. Kourtney's future is very bright and I'm happy I got to work with her at the beginning of her career. I'm adding her to my list of "I knew them when" folk but from the music standpoint, if you like catchy pop tunes that take you back to when you were younger, check out EYE DEE KAY on iTunes.
  2. BlueBell Moo-lineum Crunch: I don't buy ice cream very often but I went to the grocery store w/my Granny who encourages my indulgence when it comes to food. We got a gallon of the creamy goodness with bits of chocolate, caramel, walnuts and almonds. So so good!
  3. Time w/Dominick:
    My little cousin Dominick had his first flag football game last week and it was hilarious! He's in kindergarten so he and his teammates just get out there and have fun. They run yards and yard in the wrong direction, make plays that aren't in any playbook anywhere and they get so emotionally invested...for about 2 minutes at a time! It was so funny! Then on Sunday he came over after church and we got to hang out a bit. He's very moody so he's not always up for conversation with me but this weekend we had a ball (could be that McDonald's I bought him after the game but hey!).
  4. For Colored Girls trailer: I'm a fan of Tyler Perry, period point blank. And I'm really excited for his new adaptation. All these talented African-American women...EXCITING!
  5. All I Want Is You: I've been hearing this song on the radio for the last couple of weeks. It's so mellow and laid back, reminds me of Mario Winans on those Diddy/Usher songs a few years back. Makes me want to put on a cute dress and go sit a bar somewhere! Enjoy:


Kimora Lee Simmons: Friend In My Head

It's been a while since I've done one of these but...I had to take a second to share. So there's a school of thought that says, "When we meet certain people, and we dislike specific traits about them, then what this really means is that those traits are what we dislike or are afraid of in ourselves." Fast forward to my latest friend in my head, Kimora Lee Simmons.

I'm a huge huge fan of class and grace. And although, I may not always display those traits, I desire to be more ladylike (I equate class and grace to being ladylike). When I see famous women, especially women of color who are considered successful I expect them to be more elegant than I am. Well, for those reasons, I could not get with Kimora. She irked the crap out of me. Everytime I saw her, I felt like she was so loud. And when I saw her home on Cribs the first time, I thought I was going to throw up. It was so gaudy. She was too much for me to take. I don't like the Baby Phat line in general for the same reasons-it used to always have some extra stuff going on-like really a sweat suit with a cat on your butt?!?! And as beautiful as she is, there was a spell when she was too hip-hop! She looked like a video chick more often than a mogul for a while there. Despite all that, the number one reason I couldn't get with Kimora was while I know she was a successful model, I feel most of her success came as a result of her ex-husband, Russell Simmons. I am all about becoming whoever I shall become by the sweat of my own brow. I can be very judgemental of women who marry well then become a mogul-I typically credit their new success in their man's field to the fact they were with their hubby.

So, one day I was watching TV flipping channels and had to watch her show. She was still all those things I felt she was before except now I saw it in a different light. She is a great, involved mother and she's really involved with the aspects of her business. She maintains a great working relationship with her ex and seems to be in a loving relationship with her new man. She is a lot but most great women people are. Most of all, as I watched that episode, it made me less judgemental of myself-I may judge others, but I can crucify myself! I can not stand that I'm not always prim and proper being ultra ladylike. I can be super hard on myself for not being the way a woman my age "should" be. Kimora reminds me their are no rules and that is why today she's a friend in my head. She's beautiful, a great mother, a philanthropist and a businesswoman. Sounds a lot like what I want to be...lol we'd probably attract a ton of attention with our loud asses at any bar or restaurant but I think we'd have some good times!

(sidenote: my one friend Mistie has said for a long time we had a lot in common. I chalked it up that she was calling me loud or ghetto-words I've used to describe KLS-but I can see some similarities.)


9.10.10 Fave Five Fridays

Sigh...it's been one of those weeks. I can tell 7500 million things I despised this week but luckily, the focus of this is 5 things I loved this week. So without further ado...

  1. 4-Day Work Weeks: Thanks to Labor Day on Monday, this was a short, 4-day workweek. I'm happy about that. I can not wait for tomorrow. I'm getting up going to my cousin's flag football game, making a conference call at 1 then doing absolutely NO THING for the rest of the day! I'm gonna get lost in The Wire season 3 and the life of Dorian Gray. Can. Not. Wait.
  2. Cetaphil: As per above, my face has been breaking out. I think the villain this time is my unbeweavable hair and the lack of a great skin care routine. I've begun one that seems pretty basic that I've read about in many fashion mags. I am using Cetaphil for my cleansing and moisturizing (of course w/SPF for the daytime) and witch hazel as a toner. I do a deep mask once a week and a deep exfoliation once a week (still use the cetaphil for the exfoliation-I just use these exfoliating cloths from Sephora).
  3. Willow Smith: I whip my hair back and forth, I whip my hair back and forth...ahhh that song has grown on me!
  4. Southwest Airlines: Back in the day I used to SWEAR by Southwest. I love love love a cheap getaway with easy ways to earn free flight. I haven't been traveling much (at all) lately so when I had to book a flight to Houston for my best friend from law school's wedding, I went straight to their site. DING! I got it for the lo lo lo!!! YAY!!!
  5. OPI's You're A Pisa Work: I think my favorite blogger *kay had mentioned this one a long long time ago. But when she did I was on dark shades. Well, this week I was on bright colors and tried it. LOVE IT! Perfect shade of loud pink for my toes!!!
(NOTE: Can't believe I didn't press PUBLISH POST on Friday!!! Sorry for delay.)


Saints Open NFL Season

Today is such a bittersweet day. On one hand I'm uber-excited!!! It's NFL Kickoff day and the superbowl champ Saints are kicking off the festivities!!! There's so much going on in NOLA today, including a concert in Jackson Square. Dave Matthews and Trombone Shorty are performing. Good Lawd Mr. Shorty is so freakin' fine. I swear he's my boyfriend in my head but I digress. Today in New Orleans will be epic! I forgot to even mention the parade Soul Rebels are performing in. The bittersweet part is I can't go. I'm in Baton Rouge. I live in Plaquemine for 6 months, not New Orleans. This normally won't be an issue as NFL games are generally on Sundays...but kickoff is on Thursday thus I'm at work.
This is bigger than tonight's game. The thing is I'm in oblivion. This time is clearly not my time to shine, I'm supposed to be working/grinding right now. It's weird because I love love love to hang but lately have just wanted to stay in (except of course in situations like today). My energy is all off. Not too sure what's going on right now but I guess I can only go with the flow...


Roaches Are Our Friends?!?!

FROM AOL...(Sept. 7) -- Cockroaches, the creepy critters reviled for invading kitchens the country over, might be modern medicine's best option for fending off dangerous, drug-resistant bacterial infections.

For the remainder of the article, please click here.


Willow Smith: She's So Ready

Got something to say about little Ms. Smith's hair or style?!?! Ummm, why you talking bout that, she was in the studio! A GREAT place for her to be. Check it...

Urban Orleans

On occasion, some of my posts will appear at UrbanOrleans.
Check out their site at www.urbanorleans.com!

Speak It Into Existence

Last night someone on Twitter said they always laugh when The Miz is on WWE. I was blown away. Years ago, I remember watching the first episode of The Real World returns to New York. I was automatically drawn to Coral, one of the black girls, and Mike. I liked Mike because he was so funny. He said he always wanted to be a professional wrestler and his wrestler name was THE MIZ. He'd do all these skits as The Miz. I lost track of him but the tweet last night proved once again the power of speaking things into existence!


Mr. West...Again...

Mr. West.
Mr. West.
Mr. West.
So today on Twitter Kanye went on a "rant"...not surprising since many people relate to him only based on his rants. But this was different. It was a stream of consciousness via tweets. He put it all out there (as usual lol) but I guess now a days I like what he has to share more. He's revealing his journey and I'm think that's pretty freakin cool. But...we all know I'm a fan so I'll switch Kanye topics. He leaked a song from his new album. I so anticipate this next cd.


Fave Five Fridays!!!

It's FRIDAY and I'm ready for the wwweeekkkeeend baby!!! Not that I have many plans - in fact, that's the beauty of it! I want this 3 day weekend to be one where I play it by ear and take life as it comes. I plan to hang out a bit, read a bit, write a bit, clean a bit, workout a bit...yep a bit of this, a bit of that. But before the weekend official begins, I wanted to continue my excellent blog week... yep for the first time in a long time, I blogged every day this week! YAY ME! What better way to make sure I blog every Friday than to start a new feature: Fave Five Fridays. Here are five of my fave things this week:

  1. THE WIRE:
    As you know from my many rants on SEX AND THE CITY, I did not have HBO for a long period of time. When I did get it, THE WIRE was well into its third or fourth season and whenever I attempted to watch I just couldn't get into it. Well good 'ole Netflix changed that for me. I absolutely LOVE this show. This week I started season 3 (of 5) and I'm so stoked. I can tell already that this season is going to be pivotal. Great acting, great casting, WONDERFUL storytelling/writing: I LOVE THIS SHOW!
  2. Rick Ross' TEFLON DON:
    I love music and have no particular favorite genre. Currently stuck in my CD player because whenever I take it out, I feel it petitioning to get back in, is Rick Ross' TEFLON DON. I was getting my hair done and my friend/hairstylist Dana Chanel was playing it-instantly fell in love with it. Great beats, nice lyrics. LOVE IT. So laid back!
  3. HOME COOKED Meals: I got a new 6-month gig 20 miles away from my hometown so I decided to move in w/my granny. There's always something to eat at her house. I have to be mindful of the portions but I love the option of having a substantiate meal at home when I get there. And it's helping me with my budget too! (I spend A LOT on eating out.)
    I love love love tats but made myself a promise after my first that I'd not become addicted and only get new ones when there was something major. Considering I feel like I'm a totally different person than I was a year ago, I got one to commemorate my new birth :) I put it on top of my little infinity symbol to signify that I can have infinite rebirths-love it!!! And the artist was really cool and seemed to dig my idea for the next one so I'll see him soon!
    My stylist swears by pin curls. She talks about pin curling her hair so much that one night when we were hanging out she whipped out her stuff and pin curled her hair. She did mine and the next day my curls were so much bouncer than when I curl my hair in the morning. I imitate the way she does it and have even figured out cutesy ways to wear my hair to work pin curled (so that when I get off, I'll be that much closer to my desired look). The folk at work go crazy over it pinned up-they think it looks so retro!
So what stood out to you this week? Any fave fives?


Happy 90210 Day!!!!

9.02.10 that is :)


Dat Boy Good!!!

Check out my Southern University chum Craig Carter's new video that debuted on MTV's Louisiana Day. Craig is a great filmmaker I PRAY I get to work with soon! He did the shooting,directing and editing of "Walking Thru New Orleans".


Walking thru New Orleans from craig carter on Vimeo.


Silicone Parts Are Made For Toys...

I'll admit, there are very few things I won't try in the name of beauty. I'll endure hours at the hair salon for that right look...after spending the day online or in beauty supply stores looking for the right hair to put into that look. I'll walk 10 miles and try whatever new diet may be out to fit a particular dress. I've gotten hair yanked, pulled and pried from various parts of my body. And if you look into my "beauty" drawer, you'll find tons of half used makeup, skincare and haircare products that I've spent tons of money on over the years. But, I don't think I'll ever put something into my body-particularly into my ass for a specific look. Not that I'm judging...just providing info.

First of all, I admit my ideals of beauty are a little bit different. I grew up hooked on TV and in my day the women I thought were beautiful were did not have huge asses or typical African-American physiques. The African-American women I did see on TV were kinda petite, not so super thick: prime example Thelma from Good Times. She may have been fine but she didn't have a "dunk". So to me, the really huge ass is not an ideal. It's never been that attractive and when my own ass started growing out of control, I went through a bit of a depression before deciding to wear clothes that did not reveal my beast of a bottom. But, that's me. I get that many women want to proudly display their ass to the many people who admire it. I don't get that they can become famous for ass. But if that's your best quality...okay that was a bit judgemental.

So what are these procedures? There's two major ass surgeries on the market: the Brazilian butt lift cosmetic surgery and butt implants. From a cosmetic surgery site:
The Brazilian butt lift is a type of butt augmentation procedure which results in a youthful, prominent, perky buttocks and a more sensual body profile. People of all ages are having the butt lift procedure. Dr. Rodriguez removes fat from selected areas of your body, purifies the fat, then reinjects selected donor fat cells into your buttocks. The process of fat reinjection involves scores or hundreds of injections. The procedure is designed to fill the upper quadrant of your buttocks so that the butt appears lifted and perky. The resulting effect is that the woman appears more attractive and sensuous. For butt implants, a small incision is made in the crack between the buttock cheeks. The butt implants are then carefully placed in the tissues of the buttock avoiding the areas where important nerves lie. When the incision heals it is difficult to detect. The result is a round and prominent butt.
WOW! Sounds so sci-fi. LOL. Anyway, for those that may be interested, in a city where recycling at your home is still being worked out, New Orleans has a host of plastic surgeons who perform the surgery. I was surprised to find over 7 licensed plastic surgeons at a variety of locations throughout New Orleans and Metairie. While Sir Mix A Lot's line was the end all be all for my decisions regarding implants, it might just work for the next woman...and gauging the success of plastic surgery practices in the Crescent City, you never know who's got a true authentic ass anyway!
For me, I guess I'd just rather be safe than sorry - I know what I look like now. Just don't wanna go to the wrong doctor and end up like the cat lady...or worse. DEAD! YESSIR, folk are dying for these ass enhancements. Apparently this type of surgery has been popular for years on the international scene, and in 2009, a former Ms. Argentina died of complications resulting from the surgery. Here in the states, many people have resorted to using boot-leg injections. Apparently, the demand is so high, folk are offering the service for cheap...non-medical professionals advertise their services on craigslist and other popular sites online. Back in January, two Florida women were hospitalized after facing complications of "at-home" surgical procedure. They got the injections for 500 bucks and became ill shortly after. This summer two sisters in Cali' were arrested after injecting a 22 year old that died of complications. Those incidents all sound like old Nip/Tuck episodes (remember the Carver taking kidneys?!?!).

So Argentina, California, Florida...not a Louisiana issue right? WRONG! I watched a Philadelphia news piece where they did a sting and found a connect that set up the under the table butt injections. They interviewed a Philly woman who found two women in BATON ROUGE, LA that charge $2000 in yes, Baton Rouge, to do hydro-fill injections. Her ass looked good if I must say so myself...FOR THREE DAYS! Then it went away back to the flatness she began with...smh.

Kidney failure, liver failure, cutting off arteries that lead to lungs, death...all adverse side effects people have experienced in the pursuit of a better butt (both under the care of licensed cosmetic surgeons and boot-leg foolishness in hotel rooms and back alleys). And the demand is still there. I was reading another popular blog site and their article talked about the severe consequences and the majority of the comments were people who wanted info on where to get their surgery for the cheap. Worse part, while I was appalled some of those inquiring were teenagers, I was more outraged at the amount of grown azz women (older than me) seeking more plump derrieres.

So I repeat, in the words of the ever-so wise master of the mix, silicone parts are made for TOYS...yall can play at your own risk...


That's What I Call A Short

I'm working on my first screenplay-it's a short and the struggle in wrapping my head around a short film is how do I tell an entire story in 20 pages or less?!?! Well one of my favs, Martin Scorsese, just told a great story in 1:01 minutes. Check out his latest short film (normally it would be called a commercial but its Scorsese!) for Bleu de Chanel.


R.I.P. Aaliyah

Of all the celebrities I've admired and followed, I must say that Aaliyah always felt like family. I got to meet her and she was one of the most genuine, open people I've ever encountered. At the time, I was a freshman at Southern and during homecoming, my assignment was to do hospitality with artists that came to perform. I was assigned Aaliyah and got to greet her upon arrival, show her around campus, take her to her soundcheck (where I got to hangout with a young Outkast as she warmed up vocally), escort her and her family to their hotel, then finally accompany them to the show. She was so freaking cool! I mean it was only one day but her spirit was awesome. Because of our brief encounter, I was a REAL stan for that girl. I knew she was beyond talented and could not wait for people to see more of that talent emerge. And a few years they did. She found her "tribe" with Timberland, Missy and Ginuwine and BLEW UP! We got to see her dance more and her style was so freakin' great. When ROMEO MUST DIE came out and we got to see her acting prowess, I was blown away. I anxiously awaited what would become her final CD and when I heard ROCK THE BOAT, I was feenin' for the video...I wish I could take back that anticipation. She died flying back from filming it...It's nine years later and I'm still so in awe of her talent. (Funny when I totaled my car, that CD was in the player and of all my personal items that were returned, that was the one thing I never got back.) It's almost personal, like a cousin or old friend passed. In the moments when I've forgotten all about it, I'll see one of her movies or videos on and I'll get so sad. I can not watch ROCK THE BOAT because it's too emotional for me still. But today, nine years after her death, I'll celebrate her life. My two fav Aaliyah songs were "At Your Best" (the Isley Brothers remake) and "One and A Million". Enjoy...


Is This My Renaissance?!?!

When I moved to New Orleans in February of 2009, my creative interests were been sparked. There's something about that city-it's like magic, but that's far too cliche' a term to describe how I feel there. Hmmm...I guess a better way to describe it would be that when I drove into the city for the first time en route to move into my apartment I felt a part of me wake up. That piece of me had made brief appearances throughout my life, but never long enough for me to tap into it... I was probably pushing it away before. This time, it was alive and vibrant-speaking to me and guiding my steps. No longer was my long list of goals and deadlines the priority, I was no longer in charge...this piece of me not only woke up but it took over. Everything I had dreamed of was starting to happen and FAST. My senses were so alive...everything I saw was live and in color, I heard notes of music I'd never experienced (even on songs I'd heard a million times), food tasted amazing. Even sex was different...EXPLOSIVE! LOL! I met random strangers I felt like I'd known for years-I swear I met someone from a former life! I was living in abundance-for real I paid all my bills for months working as only a waitress, got to take classes, started a business and came up with so many creative ideas, I couldn't keep up. Things were going beyond well in my creative life but it didn't seem "well" at the time. In fact, if you've read my blog, you know I was kicking and screaming and not so pleased with the state of my world.

At the time, I saw this as "magic" as a diversion from the plan so I was swimming against the current. I mean, I had never imagined spending my life in La., I was so determined to be L.A. and live among the awesomeness of LaLaLand. It wasn't until my birthday this year that I realized how I had been crapping on the opportunities that lie in front of me. I made a decision and told the Universe that I was ready for whatever it had in store (literally-lol! I'm one for ceremony!) I felt like something happened to me instantly in that moment,and unlike before I didn't feel the urge to question or fight it, I just let it take me over. And I'm glad I did.

In the last week I've had so many great opportunities come my way to just be creative which is all I've ever really wanted to do anyway. The most profound was that I became a part of a writer's group. For quite some time, I've desired to be a part of a group of authors who'd help support one another in their literary endeavors. I didn't have to find a group-it randomly found me. And as I sat and listened to the members share the stories they'd been lead to pen, I had an epiphany ...New Orleans was to me what Harlem had been for the creative community of the '20's. I'd found my renaissance and that thing I felt come alive inside of me in '09 was evidence of my rebirth. As I stared at my fellow writers and thought of all the amazingly talented musicians,/producers, actors, playwrights, chefs, etc., I'd come across in the Big Easy, I wondered if this rebirth I was experiencing was not just a unique me thing and we are all were a part of this movement. I mean did Langston Hughes and Billy Holiday really know their artistic contributions would become the Harlem Renaissance at the time or were they just pursuing their art?

I guess the point for once I should just create. And that's exactly what I plan to do...


Lights, Camera, Action

Tonight I'm making my feature film debut!!! It's an indie...it's a very small role...it may get cut BUT I'm acting in a movie!!! VERY excited. I mean, I've done tons of my own stuff and of course I was in a music video (lol! my claim to fame can be viewed here), but this is different. Someone called me to cast me in their project just b/c she thought I can do it. I'm pretty stoked! And very prepared. I'll try to take pics on set but in the meantime, you can click here to learn more about SIREN SONG featuring DAVIDA CHANEL!!!

Show Off???

I was having a conversation about Chinese astrology with a friend and she said something like I (me) was born under the year of the dragon which made sense because I was a showoff...

Stop. Pause. Did she just call me a show off?!?!

Instead of holding it in like I normally would, I asked what was up. I told her I felt like I'd read dragon info thousands of times and never saw crap about being a show off. Further, I said I didn't see "show off" as a good thing. We discussed and she said she thought show off was good. She shared a story about when she was a kid and was accused of showing off when she was just doing her thing. She also mentioned that she felt I was a show off and gave instances when she felt I do show off. She also said that my idols are show offs which is probably an indication I am because we tend to like in others what we are truly ourselves. I was happy we discussed the situation and I got it off my chest (gold star for me for not holding it in!).

Just because we can come to a resolve in discussions with others doesn't mean we always have to agree with them 100% but we can take something from their views. Do I think I am a show off? No. Reason being - I'm not doing anything for show, I generally just do me. I blog because I like to write and I like to share with others what's on my mind. I love love love to take pictures so I post them often and video is a new medium for me I'd like to explore being in front of the camera more. I grew up speaking in church so I know how to naturally talk so people will pay attention so when I tell stories, I implement that same technique (actually, that one isn't just for me, it's for others. I loathe when folk tell me convoluted shit that I can't follow so when I tell a story, I try to present in a pleasing, concise way folk can keep up with.) I love social media because while I enjoying catching up with people, I don't really enjoy actual talking all the time and that's a way I can stay in touch w/o having to actually pick up the phone...and I get to meet folk like me that like to share what's happening in their world literally by sharing with the world. Besides social media, I think I've loved all these things all my life but at some point growing up, someone called me a showoff so I stopped. In fact it was my little cousin at a family dinner. He said I smiled too much and that I was a showoff and everyone fell out laughing in agreement. I stopped sharing my desire to put myself out there. But now that I'm grown, I could care less about someone else's labels and I realize time is of the essence if I'm going to live my life for me.

I think my friend made many valid points in the convo that I don't always acknowledge. I do shine when I'm speaking in front of a group (SHINE not showing off lol). So back in college when I was in pageants and stuff, I wasn't showing off, I was doing what I was supposed to - SHINE! At work when I do a good job, it's not to make anyone else look bad - it's just what I know how to do. The times when I get the opportunity to be in front, you can believe, I'm gonna shine because that's what I like. I think that's what my idols do - they don't shy away from the light or try to dull it when it's too bright for some...nope, they not only embrace it but boldly walk into it. They simply shine. So what my dear dear friend defines as show off, I define as SHINE. And at the end of the day, it's our personal definitions that create our lives - NOT the thoughts and opinions of others.

I'm excited that I'm at the point in my life where I don't want to change who I am at the core and when I'm simply being myself I SHINE ... and that's okay with me.


Mr. Apple NOLA

While I am committed to become more fit overall, let's be real here. I love sweets and will still have them...in moderation of course. I mean c'mon this is a lifetime commitment and I don't think I can cut out sugar for the rest of my life! My absolute favorite treat of all time is candied apples. As a kid, I'd be so excited for Halloween and outdoor festivals to roll around so that I can get one! As I got older, I got into the various flavors, like caramel and peanut covered. So imagine how excited I was when I walked up on Mr. Apple NOLA! Not only do they make candy apples, they've got all sort of chocolate covered fruity fabulousness in that place! Check them out at 201 N. Peters and visit them on the web at www.misterapple.net.

Get F.A.T.?!?!

Since I've been back home, I often run into people I went to school with and boy have some of them changed. So many people have lost their girlish and boyish physiques and do not seem at all concerned about it. I've always been kind of compulsive about my weight and I manage to keep it around a desired number/size. It is not easy at all - ESPECIALLY living in New Orleans with all this amazing food! Since I don't like to work out, I find that I yo-yo diet when I need to drop some lbs. I must admit since I turned 30, it takes a lot more effort to drop that weight. When a guy from college sent an email saying Get F.A.T., I was like this fool is tripping! Luckily I read it and found that it was Get Fit At Thirty. The site gives all sorts of support and tips for those of us over the big 3-0 mark that want to stay in shape. I'm pretty excited because I must admit, I'm tired of the yo-yo dieting and just want to be in overall better shape. Now's as good as a time as any right!

For more information on Get F.A.T. check out the site by clicking here.


Are You Illuminati?

Lately, I have had quite a few conversations with friends regarding the Illuminati. A little known fact about me is that I love ... LOVE conspiracy theories. I still don't think Neil Armstrong walked on the moon (well that the televised version was real) and I do believe the US government shot Kennedy and knew a lot more about 9-11 than we as citizens will ever know. So naturally I'm interested in conversations about the Illuminati, and as I said, lately I've been having quite a few conversations about the said organization whose mission is to rule the world (insert evil laugh).

Over the last couple of weeks I've been constantly meeting people that truly believe in the Illuminati's role in music, especially hip-hop. They say that artists are really working for Satan and that they are out to destroy mankind, especially African-Americans, with messages from Lucifer. These messages are supposedly embedded subliminally into the music. Pretty much every major rap artist has been affiliated with this group (actually, major artists period - some say that's the true cause of Michael Jackson's death). Jay-Z has been the major focus of the celebrity exposes but lately the word is that Kanye West has been captured into this lifestyle and that his mother's death was his final sacrifice into world domination (I swear whenever I type "world domination" I hear evil laughs)...Now if you've known me for more than five minutes, you'd know I'm quite the fan (understatement) of Mr. West. Through all his azzhole-ness and over-the-top-ness, I remain a fan because I feel he is one of the most authentic guys around. I mean, I may not always love his actions, but I do feel he does what he feels in the moment, and I'm a fan of folk who go with their gut. It is fascinating to me that anyone who listens to Kanye would hear the Devil in his lyrics when I hear him speaking his truth. And I would have much preferred a conspiracy theory that after almost losing his career of the Taylor Swift thing, his team told him he better become a beacon of good or he'll lose it all and now we are seeing the media-friendly Kanye but I digress.

First off, it is hard for me to understand why folk are so up in arms about what may be subliminally placed into music when there is so much that is blatantly said that we don't take issue to. (I won't even go into the degradation of women, promotion of violence and materialism - that would be a whole 'nother post.) And second-off, all these folk that keep telling me about this evil plot still listen to the artists they say are straight Illuminati! It just concerns me when people start to place labels on others they do not know especially something as serious as "Devil Worshipper". What if one day someone sees you do or say something they feel is of the occult and label you? In a world where our identity is determined first by our internet image, it would seem to me that we would be slow to "expose" anyone as the day may soon come where we may be exposed. It has happened all through history but the name was different - Christ wasn't part of the Illuminati, but a whole bunch of folk wanted him murdered because they could not believe he was a man of God! And Hitler made a whole bunch of folk think it was okay to kill people of Jewish descent because they were impure. I'm in no way comparing today's hip-hop artists accused of being Illuminati to Christ or their issues of defending themselves to those who died in the Holocaust, but I am making the point that we should be careful of judging who a man that we do not know really is. I guess I'll stop here before someone thinks I am Illuminati!


How It All Works Out...

Last night I watched the NFL Hall of Fame inductions on ESPN. I enjoy when great athletes give speeches about their accomplishments - I generally find inspiration in their words. I was moved by Jerry Rice's long (long) speech and fired up after Floyd Little spoke but Emmitt Smith was the one that truly inspired me. The three-time Super Bowl champion running back holds the NFL record for career rushing yards but last night he delivered an impassioned speech that plainly stated some realities on how to turn your dreams into reality.

Smith grew up in Pensacola, Florida and dreamed of playing for the Dallas Cowboys as a kid. When he was up for the NFL draft, he was projected to go in the top 10. When the draft moved into the No. 11 spot and he had not been selected, he began to panic trying to figure out why he had not been selected. Long story short, while he was panicking, the Dallas Cowboys were behind the scenes making moves to sign him. AHA moment for real!!! While he was focused on at what spot he'd be selected, his biggest childhood dream was about to be realized. Funny how that happens...we (I) get so caught up in what isn't happening, sometimes we can't see what is being put together on our behalf.

We all have dreams and deep rooted desires. I truly believe the ones that we've carried with us since childhood are our divine appointments. I happen to be a HUGE dreamer and have had many dreams come to pass. My biggest dream/desire is to be a leader in the entertainment industry. Emmitt Smith's speech helped me to see that I've been placing my focus on the wrong thing. When certain situations don't pan out in my favor, I can get confused and lose focus. I began to second guess myself and my goals. What if, like Emmitt, the Universe is cooking up a way to deliver my biggest dreams while I'm focused on one small thing that I feel can get me to where I want to go?

I think his speech shined some light on my recent funk (feeling down about The Hollywood Reporter Next Generation List). What if while I'm worried about the list, I'm about to be blessed with a true realization of my complete dreams? I'm excited and hopefully that that is exactly what is happening! Another thing he spoke on was that there is a difference between having a dream and fulfilling a destiny...I'm about fulfilling my destiny.



But when I finally got the power, what the f*ck did i do? I’m so sorry to y’all, everyone one of y’all that had to fight for my name/ Everyone of y’all a year ago that I made feel ashamed/ Everyone that said “Kanye is that n*gga quick [inaudible] my name, And all ya’ll…I am the one to blame / and the people that I let down, I wanna tell you, right here, right now that I’m a new man and understand my position of power.
Yall know I'm such a Kanye fan since the College Dropout. I've always appreciated him because I always felt like he was outwardly displaying the crap most of us have going on deep below the surface. I like how he's sharing even more of himself as he promotes his new project. Check it:

Some Things Just Aren't Meant to Be...


One of my long term goals has been to be inducted into The Hollywood Reporter's Next Generation class. On the day I got my first Hollywood job, I was reading the trades and the nomination form was enclosed for the Next Generation Class of 2005. In a nutshell, every year THR honors the top, up-and-coming executives that are 35 years or younger who have distinguished themselves in the areas of film, television, representation, legal, new media and more (the more is for those exceptional people under 35 that make a huge splash in the industry). The nomination process is every August and the selected execs are featured in a November issue of the trade and honored at this huge party. So on that first day of work, I tore out the nomination form and made a silent request to the Universe that I'd make the list before I turned 35. That was five years ago. As I read the trade today, I saw the nomination form. My first inclination was to do what I do best - start a chutzpah filled PR plan to get myself on the list - I mean I have been working EVERY angle of production there is over the last five years and all my old bosses carry weight. In the next five years, I'm sure I'll be a recognized leader of my industry. But a quick peak at last years class brought me back to reality. This list doesn't honor dreams or good effort, it honors results and executive-level job titles. This realization made me super super sad and devastated - this is my last year of eligibility for nominations. Unless something miraculous happens in the form of a development deal or me getting hired to head up major entity by August 13, this goal of mine will not become a reality.

It's one of those things that just is not meant to be a part of my story. It's like when a smart kid wants to go to Harvard all their life and doesn't get it. They go to some other great school and still become successful but they can never say they went to Harvard. I have many things on this list: winning Ms. Southern, graduating from a California or top-25 law school, being chosen as a City of New Orleans mayoral fellow. I wanted all those things REALLY bad but those things just were not meant to be. They all stung but eventually I moved on. And funny thing is, better things came along-no Ms. S.U. so got to chillax and enjoy my last year on the yard. I met some of my best friends at Thurgood Marshall Law School in Houston-including Kacy who chose me to be a bridesmaid at her 10-10-10 wedding celebration! And by not being tied down to the fellowship, I was free to work on several film and tv gigs that came my way as well as get my business going.

Although it still sucks SO FREAKIN' BAD that this won't be a part of my story (and that I'm almost 35 and that I haven't accomplished accomplished career achievement worthy of the list), I know there's something bigger going on. We shall see what the future holds since this one thing was just not meant to be.


Preach Kanye Preach

So if you know me you know I LOVE Kanye West. I feel he says/does the things I would do if I had balls. He literally is calling folk like me out...while I'm not your favorite underground rap or music artist, I am someone who is not expressing myself creatively which is a waste of my gifts. I'm no longer willing to do that. I'm ready to live full out regardless of how it is received. Check out Kanye's speech to Rolling Stone writers re:his new album. Turn it up around the 1:08 mark.

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