The Things We Could Do Today
Let's pretend we're artists and everything we feel is something new to be proud of. Let's take our imaginary friends on a double date and ditch them in a movie and hope they get along while we kiss outside on the sidewalk. Let's take the dreams you mumbled in your sleep and paint a child's nursery. And if we don't finish today, we've always got tomorrow.
College was the first place I realized I wasn't that different at all. The kids at school were so like me! I had a ton of peers that were into the things I liked and people dressed however they liked. For the first time, people appreciated my type of beauty. I was in my element. After when I moved around, I kept meeting more and more people like me or rather open to the me I was discovering myself to be. Living in Los Angeles was the best because everyone was so different that I was pretty normal.
Now that I'm back, I've been having issues. The issues were arising around my appearance. I felt "ugly" or not very attractive when I looked in the mirror. After a long meditation last night, I figured out that the problem is that the differences are coming back up. Here I am VERY different. My "job" is a waitress - all of my peers here have "real careers". I still dress "funny" - LOL! For instance, if I'm going out and I get dressed up, I'm literally dressing up as in character (I pick a way I want to feel or look and go with that - like a theme). Then the person I spend the most time with here is constantly commenting on how I'm so different. I know my friend means no harm and probably means it as a complement, but it brings up all my old issues.
Well I am glad to say I know now more than ever that I am different and that is okay. We all have different missions/purposes in life and I can only be me. It doesn't matter what other people think, it matters what I think. And now that my heads on straight again, I think I'm pretty freaking fabulous again!
Today is the day we remember and honor the life of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. He had such a positive effect on race relations in America, and allowed many of the experiences I've had in life possible. I have friends of all races, religions and beliefs. I've been able to do all the things I've dreamed of career wise and I have been fortunate enough that my race has not been a determining factor in whether I can go along my path. The work Dr. King did made it possible for me to live the life I live today.
Faith is taking the first step, even when you don't see the whole
Amy Winehouse's first album - a friend of mine gave me a couple of CD's and this one is so good! Amy is so soulful! I realize her second album achieved critical acclaim but when I got it I just wasn't that into it. This CD is so on! "Stronger Than Me" is a great song and she lets you know exactly how she is feeling. I am now all about Amy Winehouse getting back on track so that she can create more music like this.
Muscato d'Asti - my old roommate had introduced me to the goodness that is Asti!!! I went to a wine bar and got a glass of muscato d'asti and now I'm back on it! It is super dooper sweet but I love it ... and apparently it is good no matter the brand!
Green Tea w/Jasmine - Whole Foods sells this tea in a can and I also bought some to brew. Studies show that drinking green tea helps with weight loss. I'm not sure I'm really losing any weight but I'm enjoying the deliciousness as I try!
For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things thatstartle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meetpeople with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of.If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over
I am at a point of starting over again yet again and I often feel that I am in a position of failure. This quote from the movie reminds me that I am really strong to be able to restart again. I do have a life that I am proud of - I have had the opportunity to meet and experience people that shape who I am. I have traveled far from my comfort zone over and over again. I'm on a journey and I'm committed to making the best of it. I'm not sure that "Benjamin Buttons", David Fincher or Brad Pitt will win any awards, but I know that it made me realize some valuable lessons about myself and my journey.