I go through these random bouts of what I like to call "the wants". When the wants hit, I find myself literally anxious to have certain things - mostly materialistic type things (new looks also fall into this category). Generally I'm not too concerned with my appearance but when I'm in the midst of a case of the wants, I can not help myself. I get anxious when I'm near the objects of my desire ... my stomach literally hurts and sometimes I get the shakes. It can be a hot mess!
The latest bout of the wants are revolving around life in my new city. First of all, I want to do some promoting, get involved with the nightlife scene. I'm putting together an event (details to come once finalized) but that is making me tres anxious! I want it to get going so badly - I want to see my fliers ASAP! I want my event site set up! I want to start telling people about the event! ARGH!!! I want to book a venue. I want, I want, I want ...
I am also facing the wants in the case of my appearance. I want some new gear and some new things. My hair - I want some new color. I know it sounds odd, but I want some blue highlights! All the spots that are red, I want them to be blue. Not electric kind of blue but more like blue black - don't worry, its going to be fresh! Very subtle but shocking - like me! I also want my nose pierced again! I thought I looked so fresh when I had that. I randomly stopped the nose ring - one night I washed my face and it fell out and I was too lazy to put it back in and the next day it was closed. I miss that. I need my brows done too! I have great brows and they need to be done!!! They open my face and show off my fly! I haven't found a place here that does them right but in all honesty, I haven't tried a place yet. I've got to get that done - plan is to do it Friday or Saturday. We shall see.
I want to go shopping!!!! I have stopped watching "The City". I love that show but Whitney's fabo style is too much for me to take. In all the episodes I've seen she only wears dresses or skirts, how ladylike is that? I want to dress like that! (Well of course when I'm not at the J O B when I have to sport the black pants, white shirt and tie look!) I want to rock dresses/skirts and such more often - translation - all the time when I go out! I want to have a look that matches my new inner feeling of being unique and going after what I want unapologetically.
The conflict is that most of all, I want to be a more evolved person where none of this crap matters!