Urban Orleans

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Silicone Parts Are Made For Toys...

I'll admit, there are very few things I won't try in the name of beauty. I'll endure hours at the hair salon for that right look...after spending the day online or in beauty supply stores looking for the right hair to put into that look. I'll walk 10 miles and try whatever new diet may be out to fit a particular dress. I've gotten hair yanked, pulled and pried from various parts of my body. And if you look into my "beauty" drawer, you'll find tons of half used makeup, skincare and haircare products that I've spent tons of money on over the years. But, I don't think I'll ever put something into my body-particularly into my ass for a specific look. Not that I'm judging...just providing info.

First of all, I admit my ideals of beauty are a little bit different. I grew up hooked on TV and in my day the women I thought were beautiful were did not have huge asses or typical African-American physiques. The African-American women I did see on TV were kinda petite, not so super thick: prime example Thelma from Good Times. She may have been fine but she didn't have a "dunk". So to me, the really huge ass is not an ideal. It's never been that attractive and when my own ass started growing out of control, I went through a bit of a depression before deciding to wear clothes that did not reveal my beast of a bottom. But, that's me. I get that many women want to proudly display their ass to the many people who admire it. I don't get that they can become famous for ass. But if that's your best quality...okay that was a bit judgemental.

So what are these procedures? There's two major ass surgeries on the market: the Brazilian butt lift cosmetic surgery and butt implants. From a cosmetic surgery site:

The Brazilian butt lift is a type of butt augmentation procedure which results in a youthful, prominent, perky buttocks and a more sensual body profile. People of all ages are having the butt lift procedure. Dr. Rodriguez removes fat from selected areas of your body, purifies the fat, then reinjects selected donor fat cells into your buttocks. The process of fat reinjection involves scores or hundreds of injections. The procedure is designed to fill the upper quadrant of your buttocks so that the butt appears lifted and perky. The resulting effect is that the woman appears more attractive and sensuous. For butt implants, a small incision is made in the crack between the buttock cheeks. The butt implants are then carefully placed in the tissues of the buttock avoiding the areas where important nerves lie. When the incision heals it is difficult to detect. The result is a round and prominent butt.

WOW! Sounds so sci-fi. LOL. Anyway, for those that may be interested, in a city where recycling at your home is still being worked out, New Orleans has a host of plastic surgeons who perform the surgery. I was surprised to find over 7 licensed plastic surgeons at a variety of locations throughout New Orleans and Metairie. While Sir Mix A Lot's line was the end all be all for my decisions regarding implants, it might just work for the next woman...and gauging the success of plastic surgery practices in the Crescent City, you never know who's got a true authentic ass anyway!
For me, I guess I'd just rather be safe than sorry - I know what I look like now. Just don't wanna go to the wrong doctor and end up like the cat lady...or worse. DEAD! YESSIR, folk are dying for these ass enhancements. Apparently this type of surgery has been popular for years on the international scene, and in 2009, a former Ms. Argentina died of complications resulting from the surgery. Here in the states, many people have resorted to using boot-leg injections. Apparently, the demand is so high, folk are offering the service for cheap...non-medical professionals advertise their services on craigslist and other popular sites online. Back in January, two Florida women were hospitalized after facing complications of "at-home" surgical procedure. They got the injections for 500 bucks and became ill shortly after. This summer two sisters in Cali' were arrested after injecting a 22 year old that died of complications. Those incidents all sound like old Nip/Tuck episodes (remember the Carver taking kidneys?!?!).

So Argentina, California, Florida...not a Louisiana issue right? WRONG! I watched a Philadelphia news piece where they did a sting and found a connect that set up the under the table butt injections. They interviewed a Philly woman who found two women in BATON ROUGE, LA that charge $2000 in yes, Baton Rouge, to do hydro-fill injections. Her ass looked good if I must say so myself...FOR THREE DAYS! Then it went away back to the flatness she began with...smh.

Kidney failure, liver failure, cutting off arteries that lead to lungs, death...all adverse side effects people have experienced in the pursuit of a better butt (both under the care of licensed cosmetic surgeons and boot-leg foolishness in hotel rooms and back alleys). And the demand is still there. I was reading another popular blog site and their article talked about the severe consequences and the majority of the comments were people who wanted info on where to get their surgery for the cheap. Worse part, while I was appalled some of those inquiring were teenagers, I was more outraged at the amount of grown azz women (older than me) seeking more plump derrieres.

So I repeat, in the words of the ever-so wise master of the mix, silicone parts are made for TOYS...yall can play at your own risk...