Silicone Parts Are Made For Toys...

I'll admit, there are very few things I won't try in the name of beauty. I'll endure hours at the hair salon for that right look...after spending the day online or in beauty supply stores looking for the right hair to put into that look. I'll walk 10 miles and try whatever new diet may be out to fit a particular dress. I've gotten hair yanked, pulled and pried from various parts of my body. And if you look into my "beauty" drawer, you'll find tons of half used makeup, skincare and haircare products that I've spent tons of money on over the years. But, I don't think I'll ever put something into my body-particularly into my ass for a specific look. Not that I'm judging...just providing info.

First of all, I admit my ideals of beauty are a little bit different. I grew up hooked on TV and in my day the women I thought were beautiful were did not have huge asses or typical African-American physiques. The African-American women I did see on TV were kinda petite, not so super thick: prime example Thelma from Good Times. She may have been fine but she didn't have a "dunk". So to me, the really huge ass is not an ideal. It's never been that attractive and when my own ass started growing out of control, I went through a bit of a depression before deciding to wear clothes that did not reveal my beast of a bottom. But, that's me. I get that many women want to proudly display their ass to the many people who admire it. I don't get that they can become famous for ass. But if that's your best quality...okay that was a bit judgemental.

So what are these procedures? There's two major ass surgeries on the market: the Brazilian butt lift cosmetic surgery and butt implants. From a cosmetic surgery site:

The Brazilian butt lift is a type of butt augmentation procedure which results in a youthful, prominent, perky buttocks and a more sensual body profile. People of all ages are having the butt lift procedure. Dr. Rodriguez removes fat from selected areas of your body, purifies the fat, then reinjects selected donor fat cells into your buttocks. The process of fat reinjection involves scores or hundreds of injections. The procedure is designed to fill the upper quadrant of your buttocks so that the butt appears lifted and perky. The resulting effect is that the woman appears more attractive and sensuous. For butt implants, a small incision is made in the crack between the buttock cheeks. The butt implants are then carefully placed in the tissues of the buttock avoiding the areas where important nerves lie. When the incision heals it is difficult to detect. The result is a round and prominent butt.

WOW! Sounds so sci-fi. LOL. Anyway, for those that may be interested, in a city where recycling at your home is still being worked out, New Orleans has a host of plastic surgeons who perform the surgery. I was surprised to find over 7 licensed plastic surgeons at a variety of locations throughout New Orleans and Metairie. While Sir Mix A Lot's line was the end all be all for my decisions regarding implants, it might just work for the next woman...and gauging the success of plastic surgery practices in the Crescent City, you never know who's got a true authentic ass anyway!
For me, I guess I'd just rather be safe than sorry - I know what I look like now. Just don't wanna go to the wrong doctor and end up like the cat lady...or worse. DEAD! YESSIR, folk are dying for these ass enhancements. Apparently this type of surgery has been popular for years on the international scene, and in 2009, a former Ms. Argentina died of complications resulting from the surgery. Here in the states, many people have resorted to using boot-leg injections. Apparently, the demand is so high, folk are offering the service for cheap...non-medical professionals advertise their services on craigslist and other popular sites online. Back in January, two Florida women were hospitalized after facing complications of "at-home" surgical procedure. They got the injections for 500 bucks and became ill shortly after. This summer two sisters in Cali' were arrested after injecting a 22 year old that died of complications. Those incidents all sound like old Nip/Tuck episodes (remember the Carver taking kidneys?!?!).

So Argentina, California, Florida...not a Louisiana issue right? WRONG! I watched a Philadelphia news piece where they did a sting and found a connect that set up the under the table butt injections. They interviewed a Philly woman who found two women in BATON ROUGE, LA that charge $2000 in yes, Baton Rouge, to do hydro-fill injections. Her ass looked good if I must say so myself...FOR THREE DAYS! Then it went away back to the flatness she began with...smh.

Kidney failure, liver failure, cutting off arteries that lead to lungs, death...all adverse side effects people have experienced in the pursuit of a better butt (both under the care of licensed cosmetic surgeons and boot-leg foolishness in hotel rooms and back alleys). And the demand is still there. I was reading another popular blog site and their article talked about the severe consequences and the majority of the comments were people who wanted info on where to get their surgery for the cheap. Worse part, while I was appalled some of those inquiring were teenagers, I was more outraged at the amount of grown azz women (older than me) seeking more plump derrieres.

So I repeat, in the words of the ever-so wise master of the mix, silicone parts are made for TOYS...yall can play at your own risk...

Get F.A.T.?!?!

Since I've been back home, I often run into people I went to school with and boy have some of them changed. So many people have lost their girlish and boyish physiques and do not seem at all concerned about it. I've always been kind of compulsive about my weight and I manage to keep it around a desired number/size. It is not easy at all - ESPECIALLY living in New Orleans with all this amazing food! Since I don't like to work out, I find that I yo-yo diet when I need to drop some lbs. I must admit since I turned 30, it takes a lot more effort to drop that weight. When a guy from college sent an email saying Get F.A.T., I was like this fool is tripping! Luckily I read it and found that it was Get Fit At Thirty. The site gives all sorts of support and tips for those of us over the big 3-0 mark that want to stay in shape. I'm pretty excited because I must admit, I'm tired of the yo-yo dieting and just want to be in overall better shape. Now's as good as a time as any right!

For more information on Get F.A.T. check out the site by clicking here.

My Alter Ego? Ms. Pepper Potts

During the month of May, I committed to getting my stuff together. I've been putting in WORK! I worked on my eating habits, worked out more and got my affirmation and meditation game RIGHT! I've never been this focused so I thought it was time to release my alter ego (she's been acting up trying to get out!). As a symbolic welcome that inner me, I got a huge makeover. Watch ...


(Dana Chanel is my hair stylist and she ROCKS! Jonathan Hamilton did my entire look for the night - makeup, hairstyling (styling the hair Dana made look like it grew from my roots!), AND he designed the dress IN ONE DAY! Without ever putting a tape measure to me! No wonder his fashion line JerkandJon is on its way!! I love my people!!! They are so talented and amazing! I'm grateful they are in my world!!!)

Fitness Challenge

I have long struggled with my weight/body. When I was young my issue was feeling too thin. I was straight up and down-since I had a crap load of hair I felt like I looked like Diana Ross but not glamorous, just ridiculous. I remember a boy I liked told me I could get fine if I ate potatoes before bed-CRAZY I hate potatoes every night for a month NOTHING! I filled out more in college. In fact I think I was MOST happy with my body then. I was still on the thin size but a perfect size 6 (and I like thin so I was fresh in my opinion)! Everything was where it should be. I had a perfect sized butt, nice hips and it was all proportioned to each other. I did feel like I could have a better midsection if I worked out but I was satisfied. I even did pageants where I had to wear swimsuits in front of everyone w/no issue! Then something weird happened.It began when I graduated from college. I had this one boyfriend and all we did was go out to eat, watch movies and do it. I REALLY filled out. He would always tell me how fine I was then all of a sudden he wouldn't. My clothes fit tighter but they still fit so no big. I moved to Indiana and I still didn't work out much. My roommate was tiny but had a big appetite so we ate A LOT! We loved food!!! Then one day I went to put on a pair of pants (I'll never forget some grey Polo slacks). Those pants had always fit me rather baggy and I liked it that way. Well this particular day they were TIGHT! I mean can't sit down right tight!!! LOL! I was BIG! No more size 6 either. When I went to get new work pants I tried on an 8, then a 10 and finally FIT a size 12! I refused to buy them! That was big for me and I didn't not accept that! When I looked in the mirror all I noticed was how big my face was! How had this happened?!?!

Over the next few years, I became a bit compulsive about my weight. Obviously I couldn't depend on others' assessments - those were the people who were watching me blow up and weren't saying a word!!! Plus they didn't know my goals so it wasn't their responsibility. I did everything - you name a diet, I've tried it.

My biggest body break through came when I met Scott Parker in L.A. He changed my life. He taught me so much about how MY body works which is not always the same as the bodies of the women I read about (interestingly enough black and white women's bodies process food and fat differently and most fitness books at the time spoke only to white women). He got me set up on a plan that really worked. I HATE working out but he helped me get more focused on achieving my goals. The biggest thing he taught me was to stop comparing myself to others and do what works for me. Also in general, living in Los Angeles was better for my food related goals. There are a lot more affordable options for healthy food there and even when I went out to eat, I was rarely eating the type of stuff I indulge in here at home.

I moved back to Louisiana a year ago and have lost my "healthy" mind. I LOVE food and LOVE the food that my state is famous for. I've got to do better and as a part of my goals for Lent, I'm working on doing better for myself. I'm lucky because I still have Scott for help and now I'm doing a challenge my line sister, Erin has developed. I already know what to do and what to eat, and now I feel like by saying it on my blog, I'll be encouraged to really reach my goals - which unlike before aren't a passing thing. This goal is to become more healthy for a better quality of life. (And although I think Amber's ass is banging, I think this goal will garner the REAL results I seek-so no more Amber Rose Challenge for me...even though I think I can be THAT fine!)

So think you are up for Erin's challenge? Follow the Fit by Erin page on Facebook! When I reach my goals I'll post some before and after photos! Here's to a healthier lifestyle change

The Amber Rose Challenge

I was having a conversation with my friend Mistie about working out. I told her I felt that my health is not up to par since I moved back to Louisiana. In Cali' I ate well (healthy)- it was easy! Trader Joe's provided excellent healthy food at price points I could afford. Most people that I hung out with there were health conscious so we ate things that were generally good for us. Here in New Orleans I eat well (meaning tastes amazing; not sure how good it is for me). In Cali' I also had a healthier lifestyle. Everyone worked out, the weather was great and there were beautiful, free places for you to get your workout on. Here it is so humid, none of my friends who share my schedule/financial situation workout and everyone loves to go out and eat and drink. Also in Cali, weight was a big deal. I was mildly obese there! No one was as "big" as I was and here, I'm small. Well not small, but I'm not really thick. In Louisiana, I'm of average size. That makes it difficult to be concerned with losing weight because everyone is always telling me how I'm not that big! I don't want to lose a ton of weight, I just want to live better. I was sharing this with Mistie and she said, well, if you work out and eat right, you could have a body like that girl Amber Rose you like. WHAT?!?!?! Did my ears deceive me, did she say little old me could look like the No. 1 stunna, Amber Rose?

More...
I began my research. I asked her to go into detail (what do you mean?). She said we both had hourglass figures and even though I was heavier, that our shape/frame was the same. I went to a seminar for one of my many jobs and we discussed body type. Turns out I have an X-type figure: this means your shoulders and hips are around the same size and you have a defined waist (basically hourglass figure). I was in shock! True enough, I don't really dress for my body type and when I do wear "real" clothes guys say I'm fine. I'm really a tough critic on my own body (living in L.A. really made those image issues worse). Long story short, this conversation with Mistie inspired me.

I know for a fact that when I TRULY commit to working out, I can get GREAT results. When I worked with my trainer Scott Parker (he's who made David Banner fine!) for real for real, I looked like a fitness chick! I also know that when I eat right, I feel so good (emotionally and physically). I have more energy and I am more pleasant to be around. I am more confident and generally have better skin from drinking so much water. And now I've got a visual of what my body can look like with maximum effort. I'm in! My Amber Rose Challenge officially starts now!

I Changed My Mind ...

My Master Cleanse Experience

Pre MC day - I woke up with a weigh in then went to the store and got everything I needed. I went out to brunch with my friend and had grilled catfish and grits and Dante's version of a sangria. For dinner went to a great Latin restaurant called La Macarena (AMAZING!). Although I wanted to devour their carne asada, I took it easy and had a smaller entree. That night I had a detox tea.
Day 1 - woke up early and pumped for the cleanse. I started by reading books 1-15 of Psalms, meditation and affirmations and reading from "Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life." For "breakfast" I had 32oz of salt water in about 3 big gulps. YUCK! I then made my first batch of the lemonade - it took about 6 lemons in my juicer to get 7 oz of lemon juice/pulp. I poured the lemon stuff, 7 oz of maple syrup and 2 liters of water. I sprinkled a half teaspoon of cayenne pepper into the pitcher of stuff. This was my entire meal allotment for the day. It actually tastes good - like a spicy lemonade. I won't bore you w/the gross details of what happened next - let's just say I spent some hours in the restroom. Around 6, I took a walk to the grocery store for more supplies (my 8oz maple syrup bottle was pretty much tapped out). That night I had more detox tea.

Day 2 - Tuesday was not so great to start. I woke up HUNGRY, but prayed through it. I got up and made my lemonade. In order to prevent boredom, I decided to work on my blog. This was some good work - learned some cool CSS stuff. I had more detox tea that night and then went out to see Rebirth. I don't know where the energy went but I went to bed hungry and very tired (at the club I was VERY tired and agitated; overly hot and had awkward movements).

Day 3 - Wednesday was cool. I wasn't hungry at all. I added a mild gall bladder cleanse to my routine (1/2 cup olive oil and juice of one lemon). This was gross but a welcome treat to my taste buds simply b/c it was something different than the lemonade. Next of course, I made the lemonade. That day I went back to the restaurant I used to work at when I first moved here and got my job back. That night I hung out with my friend to watch the eclipse, came home and shut it down.

Day 4 - Thursday not so great. I woke up shaking hungry. I couldn't focus on anything I had to read b/c my vision was slightly blurry. I tried to get over it but I couldn't really shake the shakes. I proceeded with my day and argued w/myself about if I'd eat or not. I researched Beyonce's experience with the cleanse and found she had eaten vegetables on her cleanse. I had a meeting at 5 - great meeting (more details on that later). After the meeting, I went to the restroom at the coffee shop. I was so dizzy I had to steady myself while squatting. At that point I decided without a doubt I had to eat. I went to the grocery store and got salad stuff (all organic). I talked to a friend who did the cleanse who said she only drank the lemonade from 8-5 then fresh salads at night for dinner. I recognized that I had power in this situation, the power to change my mind. I concluded the evening with the detox tea.

Day 5 - today I began the day with a weigh in (down 6 lbs). I still made my tea and will drink it throughout the day. Tonight I'm going ot to dinner and will have grilled fish and veggies type meal. And I'm okay with that.

Instead of focusing on the fact I didn't finish 10 days, I'm more focused on the fact I had 3 great days of that cleanse and now I'll enjoy the remaining days of a modified cleanse that works for me. I'll share the results of days 5-10 later but I'm not the least bit upset anymore. After all, John Lilly said, "Our only security is our ability to change."