I have long struggled with my weight/body. When I was young my issue was feeling too thin. I was straight up and down-since I had a crap load of hair I felt like I looked like Diana Ross but not glamorous, just ridiculous. I remember a boy I liked told me I could get fine if I ate potatoes before bed-CRAZY I hate potatoes every night for a month NOTHING! I filled out more in college. In fact I think I was MOST happy with my body then. I was still on the thin size but a perfect size 6 (and I like thin so I was fresh in my opinion)! Everything was where it should be. I had a perfect sized butt, nice hips and it was all proportioned to each other. I did feel like I could have a better midsection if I worked out but I was satisfied. I even did pageants where I had to wear swimsuits in front of everyone w/no issue! Then something weird happened.It began when I graduated from college. I had this one boyfriend and all we did was go out to eat, watch movies and do it. I REALLY filled out. He would always tell me how fine I was then all of a sudden he wouldn't. My clothes fit tighter but they still fit so no big. I moved to Indiana and I still didn't work out much. My roommate was tiny but had a big appetite so we ate A LOT! We loved food!!! Then one day I went to put on a pair of pants (I'll never forget some grey Polo slacks). Those pants had always fit me rather baggy and I liked it that way. Well this particular day they were TIGHT! I mean can't sit down right tight!!! LOL! I was BIG! No more size 6 either. When I went to get new work pants I tried on an 8, then a 10 and finally FIT a size 12! I refused to buy them! That was big for me and I didn't not accept that! When I looked in the mirror all I noticed was how big my face was! How had this happened?!?!
Over the next few years, I became a bit compulsive about my weight. Obviously I couldn't depend on others' assessments - those were the people who were watching me blow up and weren't saying a word!!! Plus they didn't know my goals so it wasn't their responsibility. I did everything - you name a diet, I've tried it.
My biggest body break through came when I met Scott Parker in L.A. He changed my life. He taught me so much about how MY body works which is not always the same as the bodies of the women I read about (interestingly enough black and white women's bodies process food and fat differently and most fitness books at the time spoke only to white women). He got me set up on a plan that really worked. I HATE working out but he helped me get more focused on achieving my goals. The biggest thing he taught me was to stop comparing myself to others and do what works for me. Also in general, living in Los Angeles was better for my food related goals. There are a lot more affordable options for healthy food there and even when I went out to eat, I was rarely eating the type of stuff I indulge in here at home.
I moved back to Louisiana a year ago and have lost my "healthy" mind. I LOVE food and LOVE the food that my state is famous for. I've got to do better and as a part of my goals for Lent, I'm working on doing better for myself. I'm lucky because I still have Scott for help and now I'm doing a challenge my line sister, Erin has developed. I already know what to do and what to eat, and now I feel like by saying it on my blog, I'll be encouraged to really reach my goals - which unlike before aren't a passing thing. This goal is to become more healthy for a better quality of life. (And although I think Amber's ass is banging, I think this goal will garner the REAL results I seek-so no more Amber Rose Challenge for me...even though I think I can be THAT fine!)
So think you are up for Erin's challenge? Follow the Fit by Erin page on Facebook! When I reach my goals I'll post some before and after photos! Here's to a healthier lifestyle change
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