R.I.P. Aaliyah

Of all the celebrities I've admired and followed, I must say that Aaliyah always felt like family. I got to meet her and she was one of the most genuine, open people I've ever encountered. At the time, I was a freshman at Southern and during homecoming, my assignment was to do hospitality with artists that came to perform. I was assigned Aaliyah and got to greet her upon arrival, show her around campus, take her to her soundcheck (where I got to hangout with a young Outkast as she warmed up vocally), escort her and her family to their hotel, then finally accompany them to the show. She was so freaking cool! I mean it was only one day but her spirit was awesome. Because of our brief encounter, I was a REAL stan for that girl. I knew she was beyond talented and could not wait for people to see more of that talent emerge. And a few years they did. She found her "tribe" with Timberland, Missy and Ginuwine and BLEW UP! We got to see her dance more and her style was so freakin' great. When ROMEO MUST DIE came out and we got to see her acting prowess, I was blown away. I anxiously awaited what would become her final CD and when I heard ROCK THE BOAT, I was feenin' for the video...I wish I could take back that anticipation. She died flying back from filming it...It's nine years later and I'm still so in awe of her talent. (Funny when I totaled my car, that CD was in the player and of all my personal items that were returned, that was the one thing I never got back.) It's almost personal, like a cousin or old friend passed. In the moments when I've forgotten all about it, I'll see one of her movies or videos on and I'll get so sad. I can not watch ROCK THE BOAT because it's too emotional for me still. But today, nine years after her death, I'll celebrate her life. My two fav Aaliyah songs were "At Your Best" (the Isley Brothers remake) and "One and A Million". Enjoy...

Is This My Renaissance?!?!

When I moved to New Orleans in February of 2009, my creative interests were been sparked. There's something about that city-it's like magic, but that's far too cliche' a term to describe how I feel there. Hmmm...I guess a better way to describe it would be that when I drove into the city for the first time en route to move into my apartment I felt a part of me wake up. That piece of me had made brief appearances throughout my life, but never long enough for me to tap into it... I was probably pushing it away before. This time, it was alive and vibrant-speaking to me and guiding my steps. No longer was my long list of goals and deadlines the priority, I was no longer in charge...this piece of me not only woke up but it took over. Everything I had dreamed of was starting to happen and FAST. My senses were so alive...everything I saw was live and in color, I heard notes of music I'd never experienced (even on songs I'd heard a million times), food tasted amazing. Even sex was different...EXPLOSIVE! LOL! I met random strangers I felt like I'd known for years-I swear I met someone from a former life! I was living in abundance-for real I paid all my bills for months working as only a waitress, got to take classes, started a business and came up with so many creative ideas, I couldn't keep up. Things were going beyond well in my creative life but it didn't seem "well" at the time. In fact, if you've read my blog, you know I was kicking and screaming and not so pleased with the state of my world.

At the time, I saw this as "magic" as a diversion from the plan so I was swimming against the current. I mean, I had never imagined spending my life in La., I was so determined to be L.A. and live among the awesomeness of LaLaLand. It wasn't until my birthday this year that I realized how I had been crapping on the opportunities that lie in front of me. I made a decision and told the Universe that I was ready for whatever it had in store (literally-lol! I'm one for ceremony!) I felt like something happened to me instantly in that moment,and unlike before I didn't feel the urge to question or fight it, I just let it take me over. And I'm glad I did.

In the last week I've had so many great opportunities come my way to just be creative which is all I've ever really wanted to do anyway. The most profound was that I became a part of a writer's group. For quite some time, I've desired to be a part of a group of authors who'd help support one another in their literary endeavors. I didn't have to find a group-it randomly found me. And as I sat and listened to the members share the stories they'd been lead to pen, I had an epiphany ...New Orleans was to me what Harlem had been for the creative community of the '20's. I'd found my renaissance and that thing I felt come alive inside of me in '09 was evidence of my rebirth. As I stared at my fellow writers and thought of all the amazingly talented musicians,/producers, actors, playwrights, chefs, etc., I'd come across in the Big Easy, I wondered if this rebirth I was experiencing was not just a unique me thing and we are all were a part of this movement. I mean did Langston Hughes and Billy Holiday really know their artistic contributions would become the Harlem Renaissance at the time or were they just pursuing their art?

I guess the point for once I should just create. And that's exactly what I plan to do...

Lights, Camera, Action

Tonight I'm making my feature film debut!!! It's an indie...it's a very small role...it may get cut BUT I'm acting in a movie!!! VERY excited. I mean, I've done tons of my own stuff and of course I was in a music video (lol! my claim to fame can be viewed here), but this is different. Someone called me to cast me in their project just b/c she thought I can do it. I'm pretty stoked! And very prepared. I'll try to take pics on set but in the meantime, you can click here to learn more about SIREN SONG featuring DAVIDA CHANEL!!!

Show Off???

I was having a conversation about Chinese astrology with a friend and she said something like I (me) was born under the year of the dragon which made sense because I was a showoff...

Stop. Pause. Did she just call me a show off?!?!

Instead of holding it in like I normally would, I asked what was up. I told her I felt like I'd read dragon info thousands of times and never saw crap about being a show off. Further, I said I didn't see "show off" as a good thing. We discussed and she said she thought show off was good. She shared a story about when she was a kid and was accused of showing off when she was just doing her thing. She also mentioned that she felt I was a show off and gave instances when she felt I do show off. She also said that my idols are show offs which is probably an indication I am because we tend to like in others what we are truly ourselves. I was happy we discussed the situation and I got it off my chest (gold star for me for not holding it in!).

Just because we can come to a resolve in discussions with others doesn't mean we always have to agree with them 100% but we can take something from their views. Do I think I am a show off? No. Reason being - I'm not doing anything for show, I generally just do me. I blog because I like to write and I like to share with others what's on my mind. I love love love to take pictures so I post them often and video is a new medium for me I'd like to explore being in front of the camera more. I grew up speaking in church so I know how to naturally talk so people will pay attention so when I tell stories, I implement that same technique (actually, that one isn't just for me, it's for others. I loathe when folk tell me convoluted shit that I can't follow so when I tell a story, I try to present in a pleasing, concise way folk can keep up with.) I love social media because while I enjoying catching up with people, I don't really enjoy actual talking all the time and that's a way I can stay in touch w/o having to actually pick up the phone...and I get to meet folk like me that like to share what's happening in their world literally by sharing with the world. Besides social media, I think I've loved all these things all my life but at some point growing up, someone called me a showoff so I stopped. In fact it was my little cousin at a family dinner. He said I smiled too much and that I was a showoff and everyone fell out laughing in agreement. I stopped sharing my desire to put myself out there. But now that I'm grown, I could care less about someone else's labels and I realize time is of the essence if I'm going to live my life for me.

I think my friend made many valid points in the convo that I don't always acknowledge. I do shine when I'm speaking in front of a group (SHINE not showing off lol). So back in college when I was in pageants and stuff, I wasn't showing off, I was doing what I was supposed to - SHINE! At work when I do a good job, it's not to make anyone else look bad - it's just what I know how to do. The times when I get the opportunity to be in front, you can believe, I'm gonna shine because that's what I like. I think that's what my idols do - they don't shy away from the light or try to dull it when it's too bright for some...nope, they not only embrace it but boldly walk into it. They simply shine. So what my dear dear friend defines as show off, I define as SHINE. And at the end of the day, it's our personal definitions that create our lives - NOT the thoughts and opinions of others.

I'm excited that I'm at the point in my life where I don't want to change who I am at the core and when I'm simply being myself I SHINE ... and that's okay with me.

Mr. Apple NOLA

While I am committed to become more fit overall, let's be real here. I love sweets and will still have them...in moderation of course. I mean c'mon this is a lifetime commitment and I don't think I can cut out sugar for the rest of my life! My absolute favorite treat of all time is candied apples. As a kid, I'd be so excited for Halloween and outdoor festivals to roll around so that I can get one! As I got older, I got into the various flavors, like caramel and peanut covered. So imagine how excited I was when I walked up on Mr. Apple NOLA! Not only do they make candy apples, they've got all sort of chocolate covered fruity fabulousness in that place! Check them out at 201 N. Peters and visit them on the web at www.misterapple.net.

Get F.A.T.?!?!

Since I've been back home, I often run into people I went to school with and boy have some of them changed. So many people have lost their girlish and boyish physiques and do not seem at all concerned about it. I've always been kind of compulsive about my weight and I manage to keep it around a desired number/size. It is not easy at all - ESPECIALLY living in New Orleans with all this amazing food! Since I don't like to work out, I find that I yo-yo diet when I need to drop some lbs. I must admit since I turned 30, it takes a lot more effort to drop that weight. When a guy from college sent an email saying Get F.A.T., I was like this fool is tripping! Luckily I read it and found that it was Get Fit At Thirty. The site gives all sorts of support and tips for those of us over the big 3-0 mark that want to stay in shape. I'm pretty excited because I must admit, I'm tired of the yo-yo dieting and just want to be in overall better shape. Now's as good as a time as any right!

For more information on Get F.A.T. check out the site by clicking here.

Are You Illuminati?

Lately, I have had quite a few conversations with friends regarding the Illuminati. A little known fact about me is that I love ... LOVE conspiracy theories. I still don't think Neil Armstrong walked on the moon (well that the televised version was real) and I do believe the US government shot Kennedy and knew a lot more about 9-11 than we as citizens will ever know. So naturally I'm interested in conversations about the Illuminati, and as I said, lately I've been having quite a few conversations about the said organization whose mission is to rule the world (insert evil laugh).

Over the last couple of weeks I've been constantly meeting people that truly believe in the Illuminati's role in music, especially hip-hop. They say that artists are really working for Satan and that they are out to destroy mankind, especially African-Americans, with messages from Lucifer. These messages are supposedly embedded subliminally into the music. Pretty much every major rap artist has been affiliated with this group (actually, major artists period - some say that's the true cause of Michael Jackson's death). Jay-Z has been the major focus of the celebrity exposes but lately the word is that Kanye West has been captured into this lifestyle and that his mother's death was his final sacrifice into world domination (I swear whenever I type "world domination" I hear evil laughs)...Now if you've known me for more than five minutes, you'd know I'm quite the fan (understatement) of Mr. West. Through all his azzhole-ness and over-the-top-ness, I remain a fan because I feel he is one of the most authentic guys around. I mean, I may not always love his actions, but I do feel he does what he feels in the moment, and I'm a fan of folk who go with their gut. It is fascinating to me that anyone who listens to Kanye would hear the Devil in his lyrics when I hear him speaking his truth. And I would have much preferred a conspiracy theory that after almost losing his career of the Taylor Swift thing, his team told him he better become a beacon of good or he'll lose it all and now we are seeing the media-friendly Kanye but I digress.

First off, it is hard for me to understand why folk are so up in arms about what may be subliminally placed into music when there is so much that is blatantly said that we don't take issue to. (I won't even go into the degradation of women, promotion of violence and materialism - that would be a whole 'nother post.) And second-off, all these folk that keep telling me about this evil plot still listen to the artists they say are straight Illuminati! It just concerns me when people start to place labels on others they do not know especially something as serious as "Devil Worshipper". What if one day someone sees you do or say something they feel is of the occult and label you? In a world where our identity is determined first by our internet image, it would seem to me that we would be slow to "expose" anyone as the day may soon come where we may be exposed. It has happened all through history but the name was different - Christ wasn't part of the Illuminati, but a whole bunch of folk wanted him murdered because they could not believe he was a man of God! And Hitler made a whole bunch of folk think it was okay to kill people of Jewish descent because they were impure. I'm in no way comparing today's hip-hop artists accused of being Illuminati to Christ or their issues of defending themselves to those who died in the Holocaust, but I am making the point that we should be careful of judging who a man that we do not know really is. I guess I'll stop here before someone thinks I am Illuminati!