4.30.2010

Where Yo' Focus At?!?!


I'm an extremely ambitious person but one of my biggest issues in the pursuit of my goals is that at the time when I should be MOST focused, I tend to lose my focus. It is weird, I can be hardcore in the middle of MY stuff and then get so easily distracted by shiny, pretty things. Its like I'm 6 or something! My favorite distraction? Other people. I get so caught up in other people's stuff it is crazy! I'm so attracted to people who I perceive as being more "on it" than I am. I feel like some of their "shine" is gonna fall on me or something. ESPECIALLY if they have a strong work ethic and great discipline, and the biggest one CONFIDENCE. I've got to be around them or have them around me. I forget my stuff and get on board with their stuff. There are so many issues with that but the biggest problem is that I am seeking stuff I already have. I know I've got an abundance of talent but when I see someone with abilities I don't have, I get so fascinated and awestruck. Then I get caught up. And the caught up can go one of 2 ways - either I see the person IS in fact as amazing as I perceive and I go into psycho GOTTA be on this team mode and they think I'm crazy or I see they don't go after "it" in a way I would so I either resent them for wasting talent or stop dealing w/them b/c I think they are fraud. Either way, the time it takes for that process to occur is time wasted from MY stuff! It is so frustrating and it happens way to often. But when I see those shiny, pretty things (translation= beautiful, amazing beings unapologetically pursuing their dream) I can't help but stop. I've gotta work on taking brief pauses and keeping it moving.
Sigh.
But just the other day I saw a new beautiful thing that was so shiny I had to take a double take ... and his hustle makes mine look a day in a socialite's life...
Focus, Focus, Focus. Clearly still more work to do!

2 comments:

becky g said...

What's so ironic is the way you feel about other people is how I look at you! I see you as this beautiful, intriguing, ambitious woman who has it going on and I feel lucky I can be considered your friend. I love your vulnerability in your writing too, its just so real. Love it girl!!!!

Qiana said...

And his hustle....ohhh I love it!

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