Time to Let Go

The idea of letting go doesn't appeal to me ... it never has.

I hold on to and keep everything. I cleaned out my closet a month ago and had some notebook pages from the 11th grade. I stay in relationships and friendships long after I should be done. I've stayed on several jobs long after I should have quit and then after I quit, I still pick up shifts and/or help out my former bosses as if I was still on payroll. I hold grudges - yep, if you screwed with me back in the day, I'm probably still mad. I hold on because I do not like to quit. My astrologier Lilly says all the time, "How do you know something is done for DaVida? It is dead, has been buried, dug up and is stinking up the place."

Quitters in my opinion are the lowest form ... way worse than losers. I hate to watch people on reality shows/competitions that just give up. That burns me up. They will be competing for their "life's dream" and just walk away because something didn't go their way that day. I never want to be that person. So I have learned to deal with crap that is in pursuit of my dream - I can't give up. I don't give up. I don't stop. I can not stop.

Well, I'm daily becoming more aware of myself as a spiritual being. I'm reading, meditating, doing yoga ... I am putting in the work required to become the person I am meant to be. At this level in my spiritual growth, I have run into an obstacle - in order to be more spiritual, I am going to have to quit. The spiritual gurus don't call it quitting though, they call it surrender (a fancy term in my opinion for quitting, giving up). Luckily, I know at this point that the things that seem the hardest are exactly what I am supposed to be doing (aaahhh, good ole' ego). So I am working on surrending - which in a nutshell means giving up attachments to outcomes. It is supposed to be about living each moment as it comes and not worrying about what has taken place in the past or what may happen in the future. It is about being certain that each moment of your life is being lived exactly as it is supposed to be to learn the lessons you were brought here to learn.

Sounds simple enough but it is so not the life I've lived thus far. I have been living results motivated - I don't think in the present, I think about how it will affect my future. No lie, I am always thinking about how what I'm doing right now affects my future. I rarely take time to just be present - it is always about what is coming or what I have to do or "when this thing happens everything will be right".

So yesterday I did something unheard of for me. I gave up. Actually I decided to give in to the surrender. Give in to God's complete plan for my life. Give in to the fact I don't have all the answers and that God's plan is so much bigger than what I can see for myself. I'm giving in and although it feels odd as hell, I'm finally excited about the now.

Tips to achieving the state of surrender :
* Every time you think something negative or are in fear, reverse your thought to encompass something positive about the situation. Find a positive perspective to what is going on. There is always something good that is taking place and it is your job to find it.
* Believe in a positive outcome. When the world tells you something is impossible. Don t believe them. Believe all is possible and feel your desired outcome all the way down to your bones. You must believe with all your heart. Ask others to believe with you.
* Intend for the outcome you want, not the outcome you fear. Don t even let a minute of your thought process be on anything other than the intention for the perfect outcome. Intend for the impossible. Intend for the miracle. Intend for peace of mind. Intend to feel the presence of God.
* Surrender, Let Go - have no attachment to the how, why, where or when. Just believe. Hold your thoughts on the positive. Hold your belief in the positive. Place your intention on the positive. Surrender.