LeeLee and Me

I hope everyone had a great holiday! Here's some great pics of my sister and me baking away on Christmas Eve. (My little cousin Pervis decided to check out our work.) Enjoy!

I got tagged!!!! My favorite blogger (disclaimer: that I've never met before in "real" life) of the blog apt. tbd tagged me! She does such a great job on her blog that I'm excited that she chose me to tag. And I was confused about what to post next so being tagged works! YAY!!!!

1. I'm getting my hair done this week! I'm really excited. My sorority line sister is an amazing stylist (she's worked all around the world for Toni and Guy) has opened her own salon in Houston, Texas! I'll be there visiting my mom, who is getting me a "new do" for the new year!


2. I found out a terrible reality on Saturday - I suck at Guitar Hero! I always thought that would be the video game for me. I love music and not so secretly think I'm a rock star just in my daily actions so I was terribly disappointed to crash and burn on this game. My friend bought it over the weekend we played ... well he played and I sucked! LOL! I spent about 30 minutes in practice mode (Eye of the Tiger) so hopefully I'll be better the next time around.


3. I want to live in New Orleans, La. I feel a certain energy when I enter the city. Literally when I drive into the city I feel like this is where I should be. I do not know why I feel that way though. Am I really feeling N.O. or am I being afraid to return to L.A.? Time will tell ... I'm meditating on it.


4. When I'm honest with myself, I realize that I feel like I do not know where to go or what to do next. I'm generally extremely ambitious but lately I'm having trouble coming up with goals I can stick to. I'm being patient with myself but lately I don't really know who I am so it has been interesting.


5. I really want an IPhone. I'm waiting until Jan. 13 when I can upgrade my phone. I won't get it for free, but I'll get a discount. I feel kind of weird about it though because I can get a host of other phones/PDA's for free but why would I do that when I can own what seems to be one of the most wonderful and amazing technology inventions of our time?


6. LOVE IS IN THE AIR! My friend Kendra got married in the Bahamas on Friday and my other friend got engaged in Mexico on Saturday on her birthday!!! I'm excited for both of these women because they are examples that you can have it all - they both have great careers and have found love with the men they dreamt of! That makes me excited that there are women out there living full and complete lives (complete with their dream career and dream love). Ahhh, my day is coming ;)

and here's 6 people I'd like to learn more about so I'm tagging:

1. Karla from Confessions of a Former Hot Girl


2. Bianca from As In Jagger


3. Patranila from My Beautifully Brilliant Life


4. Vanessa from Chuliboobs


5. Ran from Still Standing


6. Stella B (b/c I miss you blogging lady!)

Here are the rules: mention the rules on your blog. Tell six quirky yet boring, unspectacular details about yourself. Tag six others. Go to each person’s blog and leave a comment that lets them know they are tagged.

A New Take on December

Every December, I sit and ponder on all the things that are not quite as I want them to be in my life. I look candidly and explicitly at my life and review all of my shortcomings. It is quite an honest time. I make list after list of things I want to accomplish never taking into account all of the things that transpired in the present year. This year before I resolve to do or become anything, I'm taking some time to highlight the past year.

My Proudest Moments of 2008 ...

• I got my very first movie credit (I'm IMDB'able!)
• I committed myself to blogging (I wrote over 100 blogs this year!)
• I completed two classes at the Agape Spiritual Center (meditation and financial freedom)
• I completed a 5K run (I walked some but I did run)
• I completed a 21 day detox
• I drove alone from California to Louisiana (all 1,596 miles!)
• I worked for one of my idols in the entertainment industry
• I completed an 8 week intro to iyengar yoga course
• From January to August I was tithed to the place of my spiritual growth
• I committed to completing a 40 day course of "Calling In The One"
• I went to Miami! (I LOVE Miami and made it my mission 2 years ago to return at least once a year)
• I read at least 1 book a month
• I volunteered in my community
• I took a huge risk (and although I'm currently unemployed I think making that leap was courageous and will ultimately be the catalyst for me to reach my career goals)
• I read Eckhart Tolle's A NEW EARTH and completed Oprah's 10 week course

These are some of the things I can remember and I'm pretty excited as I look back at what has transpired this year in terms of my growth (whether it be physical, emotional, mental and of course spiritual). I know that I am not the person I was a mere 365 days ago! I do have some goals I'd like to see come true next year but for a while I'm going to celebrate this year. I love celebrations!!!

SNOW DAY!

I grew up in Louisiana and as a kid when the weather report called for snow, it meant icy conditions or icy rain. Sometime between last night and this morning it SNOWED! LOL! This is crazy a)because it just doesn't snow this much in the southern region of the country; b) because it also snowed like this is Houston on yesterday and c) the forecast says it will be 70 degrees all next week!!! Oh this wonderful weather phenomenon thing! And I thought the fact it was chilly in L.A. during August was amazing ;)

My Vote for Song of the Year

I heard this song and felt like Robin Thicke was in my head! His ideas on a dream world are quite similar to mine. He is such an authentic musician in my opinion. The lyrics, the medley - great choices all around. I'M FEELING THIS SONG!

I would be you, you would be me, we would be one, we would be just fine
The ice caps wouldn't be melting and neither would I, mmh
I would just drive my big old car, and everything would be alright
And energy would just fall down right from the sky, yeah

Words would fly right from out of my mind, out of my mind into your heart, into your life
And everything would sound just right, and no one would stop me from drinking my wine

That's my dreamworld, that's my dreamworld, it's more than a dream
My dreamworld, that's my dreamworld, and I wanna live in my dream, (dream)

For the real world just don't feel right
I wouldn't spend my days searching for, searching for lost time, yeah hey yee (ooh ooh, dream)
I wouldn't be so damn sensitive, I'd let things go by
No matter what the weather, I'd learn to change, I'd change with the time, yeah he

And everytime I need a woman, she'd appear right by me
she hold me tight, treat me right, and tell me that everything is gonna be, is gonna be alright, alright

That's my dreamworld, that's my dreamworld

I would tell Van Gogh that he was loved, there's no need to cry
I would say Marvin Gay your father didn't want you to die (dream)
There would be no black and white, the world just treat my wife right
We could down in Mississipi and no one would look at us trice, ehhe he yihi

That's my dreamworld, that's my dreamworld, it's more than a dream
That's my dreamworld, that's my dreamworld, and I wanna live in my dream, (dream)

It Wasn't Him

Earlier this year, I have dedicated myself to being open to falling in love ... I think I'm going to change my mind on that. The process has been painful and I need to focus my energy on self love for now. I'm giving up my mission of "calling in the one"... if it is meant to be he'll come. At the time, Adele speaks what I'm feeling better than I can, so here's her lyrics ...

Right under my feet is air made of bricks

That pulls me down turns me weak for you

I find myself repeating like a broken tune

And I’m forever excusing your intentions

I give in to my pretendings

Which forgive you each time

Without me knowing

They melt my heart to stone

And I hear your words that I made up

You say my name like there could be an us

I best tidy up my head

I’m the only one in love I’m the only one in love

Each and every time I turn around to leave I feel my heart begin to burst and bleed

So desperately I try to link it with my head

But instead I fall back to my knees

As you tear your way right through me I forgive you once again

Without me knowing

You’ve burnt my heart to stone

And I hear your words that I made up

You say my name like there could be an us I best tidy up my head

I’m the only one in love I’m the only one in love

Why do you steal my hand

Whenever I’m standing my own ground

You build me up, then leave me dead

Well I hear your words you made up

I say your name like there should be an us I best tidy up my head

I’m the only one in love I’m the only one in love.

What I Want Now

I have heard several times and read in several places that people generally display what they want to "be" when they are children. Since I am home I decided to interview my family members to see what I wanted to "be" to see if that will help me in this time of indecision and confusion. Many said I enjoyed playing school and spending time alone, but they all confessed that I was usually into whatever it was I was doing at the time - they said I didn't talk much about the future I was just super concerned with what I was doing right then and there.

This was extremely helpful because I find that the dream for my life is constantly changing and evolving. For as long as I can remember, I wanted to live in Los Angeles. I moved to L.A. in 2005 and earlier this year deeply felt like I was over being there. This was extremely hard because I had/have no idea what I'd want to do if it wasn't being in L.A. since I've wanted that for as long as I remember. What happens when dreams change?

Well I began to review my life. My dreams have changed quite a bit. As far as career, I have had three (teacher, sports information director, Hollywood assistant). I've excelled at them all (my students excelled on their aptitude tests and I passed all of my classroom evaluations; at Purdue I was promoted from intern to full time assistant S.I.D. in six months becoming proficient in all aspects of that field and in H'wood, I had the opportunity to work for three of the most accomplished management companies and have stellar recommendations from them all). But at some point of all of those things, at some point, I was ready to move on - even though that meant leaving behind whatever financial level I had achieved. I have started over a lot. I'm ready to move on now but am I really ready to start over? I want to live in New Orleans and work in the city's film and video department to help the economic relief program. It is an exciting time there - everything is "on the verge" of becoming whatever it is going to become and I want to be on the ground floor of that. I think that unlike Hollywood, I have a unique opportunity to be involved in both entertainment (which I love) and local politics (a longterm secret desire of mine). There is so much opportunity there that I don't readily see in any other location. These opportunities though find me in a position I didn't want to be in at 32.

To pursue these opportunities in New Orleans, I would have to live in my home state and get my hustle on. I've done this before in both Indiana and California but that was different because I felt like I had nothing to lose (I was young and not under the pressure of being around people who know me). I find it hard here because quite honestly I am embarrassed. At home, people I went to college with are financially secure, have homes and are pursuing "real" careers (ie doctors, lawyers, teachers, etc.). In Hollywood, everyone I know is like me (pursuing some dream regardless of the financial implications). I know I shouldn't be concerned with how others view me, but quite honestly, this situation is bringing me face to face with my beliefs on myself - I feel that someone of my age with my education SHOULD be at a certain level financially.

At the end of the day, I am working on acceptance. If I truly accept this situation for what it is, I must admit that I want to go after what New Orleans has for me. I have to accept that my dream and the location of my dream has changed. I would be compelled to accept that at this time I do not have certain material possessions and be grateful for those things I do have. And as I sit with those realizations, it feels okay. I honestly feel if I pursue the desires of my heart, everything else will fall into place. And these days, what is financial security anyway?

Hmmm, this is the best part of blogging/journaling. In this entry, I was able to determine what is truly important to me and it is not what people (including my judgmental side) think of what is happening in my life. Right now I want to pursue my dream ... whatever it may be today.