One of Those Days ...

Today was an interesting day. A few weeks ago, I got a call from the powers that be of the pilot I worked on in December. The show had been picked up and I'll get the opportunity to work on the show in an awesome capacity I've never gotten to do before. This position is so in line with my future goals. They were calling to ensure my availability. Since then I've spoken to many of the higher ups so I know this job is a go but it doesn't start until sometime in April. In the meantime I've been focused on my company, DaVida Chanel Productions. I've got four good consulting clients and I'm working very hard (details to come). That was all good and I'm so excited...well I was until today.
A huge movie is coming to town and before I got to work on the pilot, my goal was to get a job on this movie. It will last a long time and it's the biggest budget production in Louisiana history. My position on this film will not be as creative as the one on the pilot but because it is so big, it'll look good on my resume. Well, after months of trying EVERY contact I had to get on this show, it seemed like no hope for that gig. Today they called to hire me. He asked point blank if I'd be working on anything soon and I told the truth. He said thanks and good luck but for the job he was offering he needed a full commitment for the show. I thanked him for his time. As soon as I hung up, BREAKDOWN. What if my gig on the tv show falls through? What if I am notMore...able to come through on my promises to my clients? What if I'm in over my head? ARGH! The self doubt and insecurities creeping in. Here's the thing. I KNOW what I KNOW. I KNOW where I'm headed and I KNOW that I create my reality. I KNOW the power of my subconscious mind and most importantly I KNOW what God has told me. I KNOW there are no coincidences and I KNOW I've been in tough situations before and it worked out. But knowing all that, it is still scary sometimes to really put it all on the line for something not so certain (remember all the what ifs?). And its not like I've got money stacked somewhere and the bills keep coming (I have different level clients so the money is not all coming in at once). Deep breath. This is the time that I've got to get my faith on. So I walk by faith and not by sight. Time to start walking ...