I think I might be co-dependent.

I found out online that codependency involves a habitual system of thinking, feeling, and behaving toward ourselves and others that can cause pain.Codependent behaviors or habits are self-destructive.These behaviors can prevent us from finding peace and happiness with the most important person in our lives.... ourselves. These behaviors belong to the only person we can change.. ourselves.

I have some really great friends who are regular and not consuming, but I have (and have had) a multitude of friendships with people who I feel are very needand I need to help. I blame them for not "doing right" and figure I have to show them the way. I find often that I say things like I don't know why such and such acts this way - I have to do good so they can get it. I also often don't say what I feel - I say what I think is needed at the moment. I also get so involved with them, I don't really focus at all on myself. From the site, these are behaviors I see in myself that could indicate I'm codependent:

*Think and feel responsible for other people---for other people's feelings, thoughts, actions, choices, wants, needs, well-being, lack of well-being, and ultimate destiny.
*Feel compelled --almost forced -- to help that person solve the problem, such as offering unwanted advice, giving a rapid-fire series of suggestions, or fixing feelings.
*Anticipate other people's needs and wonder why others don't do the same for them.
*Not knowing what they want and need, or if they do, tell themselves what they want and need is not important.
*Pick on themselves for everything, including the way they think, feel, look, act, and behave.
*Feel different from the rest of the world.
*Try to prove they're good enough for other people.
*Appear rigid and controlled.
*Think they know best how things should turn out and how people should behave.
*Feel terribly threatened by the loss of any thing or person they think proves their happiness.
*Try to prove they're good enough to be loved.
*Lost interest in their own lives when they love.
*Leave bad relationships and form new ones that don't work either.
*Don't say what they mean. Don't mean what they say. Don't know what they mean.
*Don't trust themselves. Don't trust their feelings. Don't trust their decisions. *Don't trust other people.
*Are caretakers in the bedroom.
*Find it difficult to feel close to people.

Okay, if that's the diagnosis, the goal for February is to do some SELF LOVE! I'm all about showering my energy and affections on myself so that I can attract what I really want in life. This month I'm going to do a lot of work to show myself how much I really do love me! I'm pushing my love for self to the limit!!!

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