I Want To Be Recognized

As you know I love love love Oprah. What you may not know is that I'm fanatical over personality tests. What better than a test from Oprah!?! Its like the best of both worlds. This month the Oprah magazine asks, "Who Are You Meant to Be?". Its filled with information to help you realize your potential and help you discover the path to your destiny. She offers a great quiz to help you determine who it is you are striving to be (you can click here to take the test).

More...I was excited to take the test and felt a huge "a-ha" moment when I got the results. According to the test, I'm most striving to be recognized. The explanation for that answer was very revealing. It says "You are an achiever: Ambitious, competitive, and hardworking: That's you. With a clear image of who you are, you work tirelessly to make sure your accomplishments are recognized. Your drive for success extends to your family, and you invest a lot of energy in helping them live up to your expectations. Thanks to your knack for diplomacy and abundant charisma, you often inspire others."

WOW! Such a huge insight. Of course I want to be recognized - let's review: My huge part of me wants to become a reality TV star. I come alive in front of cameras. I've had a personal website since the days of geocities. Now that I have a blog, its entire focus is to share stories about my life and my pursuit to become the person I desire to be! The fact that I have a blog (and Twitter and Facebook accounts) all point to my desire to share my life with people. This desire has been longstanding - I've always enjoyed doing things in such a way that others would be able to see and recognize. I'm moved by living aloud - I don't consider my "accomplishments" to be so great if they aren't big enough to make people take notice. I do well in jobs where my contributions clearly make a difference (that's why being a good Hollywood assistant was right up my alley-if you assist your boss well, everyone they work with will know! And just to take it a step further, this desire to be recognized is even visible in my astrological chart - my chart is ruled by the sign Leo (all about recognition). Want one more illustration? If you take a look at some of my idols, they are a group that has no problem being seen (Presidnt Obama, Victoria Beckham, Kanye West, Kobe Bryant, to name a few).

So what's the problem? Well behavior that brought focus to self was not really encouraged in my home growing up. It was ingrained in me that no one likes people who stand out too much or that really like being seen (look at my idol list - those folk don't always get portrayed in the best light). In my house it was encouraged to be more modest. I was taught that it was better to let go of the desire to be recognized and be more subdued. At school, I seemed to always be in trouble when I was bold or outspoken. I learned to simply tone it down and be a "good, nice" girl. Now as a woman, I often find myself playing it cool, being good and doing "right". But what I realize is that the desire to be recognized hasn't gone away simply because I've repressed it! It won't ever go away, it is a part of who I am.

I'm grateful to live in a city like New Orleans where creativity, spontaneity and simply being yourself are encouraged. I think here more than anywhere else I'm able to fully be myself (trust me my boldest doesn't hold a candle to the many people I meet here!). I'm clearly see that I want to be seen and that is just fine! I accept my desire for recognition and unlike the past, I'm ready to move into that space!