Silicone Parts Are Made For Toys...

I'll admit, there are very few things I won't try in the name of beauty. I'll endure hours at the hair salon for that right look...after spending the day online or in beauty supply stores looking for the right hair to put into that look. I'll walk 10 miles and try whatever new diet may be out to fit a particular dress. I've gotten hair yanked, pulled and pried from various parts of my body. And if you look into my "beauty" drawer, you'll find tons of half used makeup, skincare and haircare products that I've spent tons of money on over the years. But, I don't think I'll ever put something into my body-particularly into my ass for a specific look. Not that I'm judging...just providing info.

First of all, I admit my ideals of beauty are a little bit different. I grew up hooked on TV and in my day the women I thought were beautiful were did not have huge asses or typical African-American physiques. The African-American women I did see on TV were kinda petite, not so super thick: prime example Thelma from Good Times. She may have been fine but she didn't have a "dunk". So to me, the really huge ass is not an ideal. It's never been that attractive and when my own ass started growing out of control, I went through a bit of a depression before deciding to wear clothes that did not reveal my beast of a bottom. But, that's me. I get that many women want to proudly display their ass to the many people who admire it. I don't get that they can become famous for ass. But if that's your best quality...okay that was a bit judgemental.

So what are these procedures? There's two major ass surgeries on the market: the Brazilian butt lift cosmetic surgery and butt implants. From a cosmetic surgery site:

The Brazilian butt lift is a type of butt augmentation procedure which results in a youthful, prominent, perky buttocks and a more sensual body profile. People of all ages are having the butt lift procedure. Dr. Rodriguez removes fat from selected areas of your body, purifies the fat, then reinjects selected donor fat cells into your buttocks. The process of fat reinjection involves scores or hundreds of injections. The procedure is designed to fill the upper quadrant of your buttocks so that the butt appears lifted and perky. The resulting effect is that the woman appears more attractive and sensuous. For butt implants, a small incision is made in the crack between the buttock cheeks. The butt implants are then carefully placed in the tissues of the buttock avoiding the areas where important nerves lie. When the incision heals it is difficult to detect. The result is a round and prominent butt.

WOW! Sounds so sci-fi. LOL. Anyway, for those that may be interested, in a city where recycling at your home is still being worked out, New Orleans has a host of plastic surgeons who perform the surgery. I was surprised to find over 7 licensed plastic surgeons at a variety of locations throughout New Orleans and Metairie. While Sir Mix A Lot's line was the end all be all for my decisions regarding implants, it might just work for the next woman...and gauging the success of plastic surgery practices in the Crescent City, you never know who's got a true authentic ass anyway!
For me, I guess I'd just rather be safe than sorry - I know what I look like now. Just don't wanna go to the wrong doctor and end up like the cat lady...or worse. DEAD! YESSIR, folk are dying for these ass enhancements. Apparently this type of surgery has been popular for years on the international scene, and in 2009, a former Ms. Argentina died of complications resulting from the surgery. Here in the states, many people have resorted to using boot-leg injections. Apparently, the demand is so high, folk are offering the service for cheap...non-medical professionals advertise their services on craigslist and other popular sites online. Back in January, two Florida women were hospitalized after facing complications of "at-home" surgical procedure. They got the injections for 500 bucks and became ill shortly after. This summer two sisters in Cali' were arrested after injecting a 22 year old that died of complications. Those incidents all sound like old Nip/Tuck episodes (remember the Carver taking kidneys?!?!).

So Argentina, California, Florida...not a Louisiana issue right? WRONG! I watched a Philadelphia news piece where they did a sting and found a connect that set up the under the table butt injections. They interviewed a Philly woman who found two women in BATON ROUGE, LA that charge $2000 in yes, Baton Rouge, to do hydro-fill injections. Her ass looked good if I must say so myself...FOR THREE DAYS! Then it went away back to the flatness she began with...smh.

Kidney failure, liver failure, cutting off arteries that lead to lungs, death...all adverse side effects people have experienced in the pursuit of a better butt (both under the care of licensed cosmetic surgeons and boot-leg foolishness in hotel rooms and back alleys). And the demand is still there. I was reading another popular blog site and their article talked about the severe consequences and the majority of the comments were people who wanted info on where to get their surgery for the cheap. Worse part, while I was appalled some of those inquiring were teenagers, I was more outraged at the amount of grown azz women (older than me) seeking more plump derrieres.

So I repeat, in the words of the ever-so wise master of the mix, silicone parts are made for TOYS...yall can play at your own risk...

That's What I Call A Short

I'm working on my first screenplay-it's a short and the struggle in wrapping my head around a short film is how do I tell an entire story in 20 pages or less?!?! Well one of my favs, Martin Scorsese, just told a great story in 1:01 minutes. Check out his latest short film (normally it would be called a commercial but its Scorsese!) for Bleu de Chanel.

R.I.P. Aaliyah

Of all the celebrities I've admired and followed, I must say that Aaliyah always felt like family. I got to meet her and she was one of the most genuine, open people I've ever encountered. At the time, I was a freshman at Southern and during homecoming, my assignment was to do hospitality with artists that came to perform. I was assigned Aaliyah and got to greet her upon arrival, show her around campus, take her to her soundcheck (where I got to hangout with a young Outkast as she warmed up vocally), escort her and her family to their hotel, then finally accompany them to the show. She was so freaking cool! I mean it was only one day but her spirit was awesome. Because of our brief encounter, I was a REAL stan for that girl. I knew she was beyond talented and could not wait for people to see more of that talent emerge. And a few years they did. She found her "tribe" with Timberland, Missy and Ginuwine and BLEW UP! We got to see her dance more and her style was so freakin' great. When ROMEO MUST DIE came out and we got to see her acting prowess, I was blown away. I anxiously awaited what would become her final CD and when I heard ROCK THE BOAT, I was feenin' for the video...I wish I could take back that anticipation. She died flying back from filming it...It's nine years later and I'm still so in awe of her talent. (Funny when I totaled my car, that CD was in the player and of all my personal items that were returned, that was the one thing I never got back.) It's almost personal, like a cousin or old friend passed. In the moments when I've forgotten all about it, I'll see one of her movies or videos on and I'll get so sad. I can not watch ROCK THE BOAT because it's too emotional for me still. But today, nine years after her death, I'll celebrate her life. My two fav Aaliyah songs were "At Your Best" (the Isley Brothers remake) and "One and A Million". Enjoy...

Is This My Renaissance?!?!

When I moved to New Orleans in February of 2009, my creative interests were been sparked. There's something about that city-it's like magic, but that's far too cliche' a term to describe how I feel there. Hmmm...I guess a better way to describe it would be that when I drove into the city for the first time en route to move into my apartment I felt a part of me wake up. That piece of me had made brief appearances throughout my life, but never long enough for me to tap into it... I was probably pushing it away before. This time, it was alive and vibrant-speaking to me and guiding my steps. No longer was my long list of goals and deadlines the priority, I was no longer in charge...this piece of me not only woke up but it took over. Everything I had dreamed of was starting to happen and FAST. My senses were so alive...everything I saw was live and in color, I heard notes of music I'd never experienced (even on songs I'd heard a million times), food tasted amazing. Even sex was different...EXPLOSIVE! LOL! I met random strangers I felt like I'd known for years-I swear I met someone from a former life! I was living in abundance-for real I paid all my bills for months working as only a waitress, got to take classes, started a business and came up with so many creative ideas, I couldn't keep up. Things were going beyond well in my creative life but it didn't seem "well" at the time. In fact, if you've read my blog, you know I was kicking and screaming and not so pleased with the state of my world.

At the time, I saw this as "magic" as a diversion from the plan so I was swimming against the current. I mean, I had never imagined spending my life in La., I was so determined to be L.A. and live among the awesomeness of LaLaLand. It wasn't until my birthday this year that I realized how I had been crapping on the opportunities that lie in front of me. I made a decision and told the Universe that I was ready for whatever it had in store (literally-lol! I'm one for ceremony!) I felt like something happened to me instantly in that moment,and unlike before I didn't feel the urge to question or fight it, I just let it take me over. And I'm glad I did.

In the last week I've had so many great opportunities come my way to just be creative which is all I've ever really wanted to do anyway. The most profound was that I became a part of a writer's group. For quite some time, I've desired to be a part of a group of authors who'd help support one another in their literary endeavors. I didn't have to find a group-it randomly found me. And as I sat and listened to the members share the stories they'd been lead to pen, I had an epiphany ...New Orleans was to me what Harlem had been for the creative community of the '20's. I'd found my renaissance and that thing I felt come alive inside of me in '09 was evidence of my rebirth. As I stared at my fellow writers and thought of all the amazingly talented musicians,/producers, actors, playwrights, chefs, etc., I'd come across in the Big Easy, I wondered if this rebirth I was experiencing was not just a unique me thing and we are all were a part of this movement. I mean did Langston Hughes and Billy Holiday really know their artistic contributions would become the Harlem Renaissance at the time or were they just pursuing their art?

I guess the point for once I should just create. And that's exactly what I plan to do...

Lights, Camera, Action

Tonight I'm making my feature film debut!!! It's an indie...it's a very small role...it may get cut BUT I'm acting in a movie!!! VERY excited. I mean, I've done tons of my own stuff and of course I was in a music video (lol! my claim to fame can be viewed here), but this is different. Someone called me to cast me in their project just b/c she thought I can do it. I'm pretty stoked! And very prepared. I'll try to take pics on set but in the meantime, you can click here to learn more about SIREN SONG featuring DAVIDA CHANEL!!!

Show Off???

I was having a conversation about Chinese astrology with a friend and she said something like I (me) was born under the year of the dragon which made sense because I was a showoff...

Stop. Pause. Did she just call me a show off?!?!

Instead of holding it in like I normally would, I asked what was up. I told her I felt like I'd read dragon info thousands of times and never saw crap about being a show off. Further, I said I didn't see "show off" as a good thing. We discussed and she said she thought show off was good. She shared a story about when she was a kid and was accused of showing off when she was just doing her thing. She also mentioned that she felt I was a show off and gave instances when she felt I do show off. She also said that my idols are show offs which is probably an indication I am because we tend to like in others what we are truly ourselves. I was happy we discussed the situation and I got it off my chest (gold star for me for not holding it in!).

Just because we can come to a resolve in discussions with others doesn't mean we always have to agree with them 100% but we can take something from their views. Do I think I am a show off? No. Reason being - I'm not doing anything for show, I generally just do me. I blog because I like to write and I like to share with others what's on my mind. I love love love to take pictures so I post them often and video is a new medium for me I'd like to explore being in front of the camera more. I grew up speaking in church so I know how to naturally talk so people will pay attention so when I tell stories, I implement that same technique (actually, that one isn't just for me, it's for others. I loathe when folk tell me convoluted shit that I can't follow so when I tell a story, I try to present in a pleasing, concise way folk can keep up with.) I love social media because while I enjoying catching up with people, I don't really enjoy actual talking all the time and that's a way I can stay in touch w/o having to actually pick up the phone...and I get to meet folk like me that like to share what's happening in their world literally by sharing with the world. Besides social media, I think I've loved all these things all my life but at some point growing up, someone called me a showoff so I stopped. In fact it was my little cousin at a family dinner. He said I smiled too much and that I was a showoff and everyone fell out laughing in agreement. I stopped sharing my desire to put myself out there. But now that I'm grown, I could care less about someone else's labels and I realize time is of the essence if I'm going to live my life for me.

I think my friend made many valid points in the convo that I don't always acknowledge. I do shine when I'm speaking in front of a group (SHINE not showing off lol). So back in college when I was in pageants and stuff, I wasn't showing off, I was doing what I was supposed to - SHINE! At work when I do a good job, it's not to make anyone else look bad - it's just what I know how to do. The times when I get the opportunity to be in front, you can believe, I'm gonna shine because that's what I like. I think that's what my idols do - they don't shy away from the light or try to dull it when it's too bright for some...nope, they not only embrace it but boldly walk into it. They simply shine. So what my dear dear friend defines as show off, I define as SHINE. And at the end of the day, it's our personal definitions that create our lives - NOT the thoughts and opinions of others.

I'm excited that I'm at the point in my life where I don't want to change who I am at the core and when I'm simply being myself I SHINE ... and that's okay with me.

Mr. Apple NOLA

While I am committed to become more fit overall, let's be real here. I love sweets and will still have them...in moderation of course. I mean c'mon this is a lifetime commitment and I don't think I can cut out sugar for the rest of my life! My absolute favorite treat of all time is candied apples. As a kid, I'd be so excited for Halloween and outdoor festivals to roll around so that I can get one! As I got older, I got into the various flavors, like caramel and peanut covered. So imagine how excited I was when I walked up on Mr. Apple NOLA! Not only do they make candy apples, they've got all sort of chocolate covered fruity fabulousness in that place! Check them out at 201 N. Peters and visit them on the web at www.misterapple.net.

Get F.A.T.?!?!

Since I've been back home, I often run into people I went to school with and boy have some of them changed. So many people have lost their girlish and boyish physiques and do not seem at all concerned about it. I've always been kind of compulsive about my weight and I manage to keep it around a desired number/size. It is not easy at all - ESPECIALLY living in New Orleans with all this amazing food! Since I don't like to work out, I find that I yo-yo diet when I need to drop some lbs. I must admit since I turned 30, it takes a lot more effort to drop that weight. When a guy from college sent an email saying Get F.A.T., I was like this fool is tripping! Luckily I read it and found that it was Get Fit At Thirty. The site gives all sorts of support and tips for those of us over the big 3-0 mark that want to stay in shape. I'm pretty excited because I must admit, I'm tired of the yo-yo dieting and just want to be in overall better shape. Now's as good as a time as any right!

For more information on Get F.A.T. check out the site by clicking here.

Are You Illuminati?

Lately, I have had quite a few conversations with friends regarding the Illuminati. A little known fact about me is that I love ... LOVE conspiracy theories. I still don't think Neil Armstrong walked on the moon (well that the televised version was real) and I do believe the US government shot Kennedy and knew a lot more about 9-11 than we as citizens will ever know. So naturally I'm interested in conversations about the Illuminati, and as I said, lately I've been having quite a few conversations about the said organization whose mission is to rule the world (insert evil laugh).

Over the last couple of weeks I've been constantly meeting people that truly believe in the Illuminati's role in music, especially hip-hop. They say that artists are really working for Satan and that they are out to destroy mankind, especially African-Americans, with messages from Lucifer. These messages are supposedly embedded subliminally into the music. Pretty much every major rap artist has been affiliated with this group (actually, major artists period - some say that's the true cause of Michael Jackson's death). Jay-Z has been the major focus of the celebrity exposes but lately the word is that Kanye West has been captured into this lifestyle and that his mother's death was his final sacrifice into world domination (I swear whenever I type "world domination" I hear evil laughs)...Now if you've known me for more than five minutes, you'd know I'm quite the fan (understatement) of Mr. West. Through all his azzhole-ness and over-the-top-ness, I remain a fan because I feel he is one of the most authentic guys around. I mean, I may not always love his actions, but I do feel he does what he feels in the moment, and I'm a fan of folk who go with their gut. It is fascinating to me that anyone who listens to Kanye would hear the Devil in his lyrics when I hear him speaking his truth. And I would have much preferred a conspiracy theory that after almost losing his career of the Taylor Swift thing, his team told him he better become a beacon of good or he'll lose it all and now we are seeing the media-friendly Kanye but I digress.

First off, it is hard for me to understand why folk are so up in arms about what may be subliminally placed into music when there is so much that is blatantly said that we don't take issue to. (I won't even go into the degradation of women, promotion of violence and materialism - that would be a whole 'nother post.) And second-off, all these folk that keep telling me about this evil plot still listen to the artists they say are straight Illuminati! It just concerns me when people start to place labels on others they do not know especially something as serious as "Devil Worshipper". What if one day someone sees you do or say something they feel is of the occult and label you? In a world where our identity is determined first by our internet image, it would seem to me that we would be slow to "expose" anyone as the day may soon come where we may be exposed. It has happened all through history but the name was different - Christ wasn't part of the Illuminati, but a whole bunch of folk wanted him murdered because they could not believe he was a man of God! And Hitler made a whole bunch of folk think it was okay to kill people of Jewish descent because they were impure. I'm in no way comparing today's hip-hop artists accused of being Illuminati to Christ or their issues of defending themselves to those who died in the Holocaust, but I am making the point that we should be careful of judging who a man that we do not know really is. I guess I'll stop here before someone thinks I am Illuminati!

How It All Works Out...

Last night I watched the NFL Hall of Fame inductions on ESPN. I enjoy when great athletes give speeches about their accomplishments - I generally find inspiration in their words. I was moved by Jerry Rice's long (long) speech and fired up after Floyd Little spoke but Emmitt Smith was the one that truly inspired me. The three-time Super Bowl champion running back holds the NFL record for career rushing yards but last night he delivered an impassioned speech that plainly stated some realities on how to turn your dreams into reality.

Smith grew up in Pensacola, Florida and dreamed of playing for the Dallas Cowboys as a kid. When he was up for the NFL draft, he was projected to go in the top 10. When the draft moved into the No. 11 spot and he had not been selected, he began to panic trying to figure out why he had not been selected. Long story short, while he was panicking, the Dallas Cowboys were behind the scenes making moves to sign him. AHA moment for real!!! While he was focused on at what spot he'd be selected, his biggest childhood dream was about to be realized. Funny how that happens...we (I) get so caught up in what isn't happening, sometimes we can't see what is being put together on our behalf.

We all have dreams and deep rooted desires. I truly believe the ones that we've carried with us since childhood are our divine appointments. I happen to be a HUGE dreamer and have had many dreams come to pass. My biggest dream/desire is to be a leader in the entertainment industry. Emmitt Smith's speech helped me to see that I've been placing my focus on the wrong thing. When certain situations don't pan out in my favor, I can get confused and lose focus. I began to second guess myself and my goals. What if, like Emmitt, the Universe is cooking up a way to deliver my biggest dreams while I'm focused on one small thing that I feel can get me to where I want to go?

I think his speech shined some light on my recent funk (feeling down about The Hollywood Reporter Next Generation List). What if while I'm worried about the list, I'm about to be blessed with a true realization of my complete dreams? I'm excited and hopefully that that is exactly what is happening! Another thing he spoke on was that there is a difference between having a dream and fulfilling a destiny...I'm about fulfilling my destiny.

I LOVE KANYE!

But when I finally got the power, what the f*ck did i do? I’m so sorry to y’all, everyone one of y’all that had to fight for my name/ Everyone of y’all a year ago that I made feel ashamed/ Everyone that said “Kanye is that n*gga quick [inaudible] my name, And all ya’ll…I am the one to blame / and the people that I let down, I wanna tell you, right here, right now that I’m a new man and understand my position of power.

Yall know I'm such a Kanye fan since the College Dropout. I've always appreciated him because I always felt like he was outwardly displaying the crap most of us have going on deep below the surface. I like how he's sharing even more of himself as he promotes his new project. Check it:

Some Things Just Aren't Meant to Be...

SIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH

One of my long term goals has been to be inducted into The Hollywood Reporter's Next Generation class. On the day I got my first Hollywood job, I was reading the trades and the nomination form was enclosed for the Next Generation Class of 2005. In a nutshell, every year THR honors the top, up-and-coming executives that are 35 years or younger who have distinguished themselves in the areas of film, television, representation, legal, new media and more (the more is for those exceptional people under 35 that make a huge splash in the industry). The nomination process is every August and the selected execs are featured in a November issue of the trade and honored at this huge party. So on that first day of work, I tore out the nomination form and made a silent request to the Universe that I'd make the list before I turned 35. That was five years ago. As I read the trade today, I saw the nomination form. My first inclination was to do what I do best - start a chutzpah filled PR plan to get myself on the list - I mean I have been working EVERY angle of production there is over the last five years and all my old bosses carry weight. In the next five years, I'm sure I'll be a recognized leader of my industry. But a quick peak at last years class brought me back to reality. This list doesn't honor dreams or good effort, it honors results and executive-level job titles. This realization made me super super sad and devastated - this is my last year of eligibility for nominations. Unless something miraculous happens in the form of a development deal or me getting hired to head up major entity by August 13, this goal of mine will not become a reality.

It's one of those things that just is not meant to be a part of my story. It's like when a smart kid wants to go to Harvard all their life and doesn't get it. They go to some other great school and still become successful but they can never say they went to Harvard. I have many things on this list: winning Ms. Southern, graduating from a California or top-25 law school, being chosen as a City of New Orleans mayoral fellow. I wanted all those things REALLY bad but those things just were not meant to be. They all stung but eventually I moved on. And funny thing is, better things came along-no Ms. S.U. so got to chillax and enjoy my last year on the yard. I met some of my best friends at Thurgood Marshall Law School in Houston-including Kacy who chose me to be a bridesmaid at her 10-10-10 wedding celebration! And by not being tied down to the fellowship, I was free to work on several film and tv gigs that came my way as well as get my business going.

Although it still sucks SO FREAKIN' BAD that this won't be a part of my story (and that I'm almost 35 and that I haven't accomplished accomplished career achievement worthy of the list), I know there's something bigger going on. We shall see what the future holds since this one thing was just not meant to be.

Preach Kanye Preach

So if you know me you know I LOVE Kanye West. I feel he says/does the things I would do if I had balls. He literally is calling folk like me out...while I'm not your favorite underground rap or music artist, I am someone who is not expressing myself creatively which is a waste of my gifts. I'm no longer willing to do that. I'm ready to live full out regardless of how it is received. Check out Kanye's speech to Rolling Stone writers re:his new album. Turn it up around the 1:08 mark.

What If...

So, I have this list of qualities I want in a man I'd like to settle down with. What if the man that meets all those qualities has a list too? Even better question, what if he didn't have a list and simply asked me to meet my own?

I think instead of looking for him, maybe I can focus on me meeting the list while Mr. Right finds me...