Last night when I got home from work, I couldn't really sleep so I decided to watch my shows from DVR. Big Brother was good but still couldn't sleep and started watching America's Best Dance Crew. I had my phone on vibrate because this dude is supposed in town that I thought might call and I didn't want the ringing to wake up my roommate. Around 12 something the phone rang, it was my mom ... Gloria had died.
Often when people die, you wish your last time with them hadn't been the last. I do wish I could see her and talk to her again but I don't regret the last time I saw her one bit. It was at my mom's 50th. Gloria looked really pretty and happy and we KICKED it! We danced all night and just enjoyed being around one another.
If it is one thing Gloria taught me, it is to be myself. Gloria was ALWAYS Gloria ... LOL even when I just wished she could "do right". She was a very independent thinker - she did what she wanted all the time and put herself first until she had a son. I will never know for sure but I really feel that in her life she just desired to be loved. I hope she left knowing that she was ... Gloria's passing forces me to ask the question what is really important to me. I often say my career is the most important factor in my life. I know for a fact today this is not true. As I sit at work, I know this (or no other job) can give me the comfort and joy I have when in tune with my family ... like at my mom's bday party last year. That was a day that really mattered. I had no idea then she'd be gone now ... no one did, she was just fine. Which is another lesson - you never know what tomorrow brings so live your life being happy today.
I'll miss you Gloria ...