6.24.2010

F 'Em....

The last two weeks have been a lot! I've had some serious issues with some folk that were in my world. When pushed to a certain point, I can become consumed with anger, thoughts of revenge and really strong emotions of rage. Don't let the dimples fool you - I spent many a day in anger management as a kid because people would make me so mad all I could see was the color red! I did not enjoy those times - out of anger I would do things so uncharacteristic of me that it would scare not only my family but me too! Now I try my best to avoid all confrontation - I know where that crap can lead so why bother. I literally tiptoe around things all the time (lol! literally-my friend does a funny impersonation of how I walk around people all the time). But over the last two weeks I found myself in percarious situations where the white light slowly began to fade to red. In the past when it got that bad and the red came I'd say f' 'em and let the chips fall where they may. This time, I decided to say f' 'em but in a much different way. Instead of the F-#-@-& word, I chose the F-o-r-g-i-v-e word.
Here's the thing, in forgiving what I perceive as a wrong done to me, I set myself free. This is not about the other person, it is all about me and my response to the issue at hand. Instead of seeking revenge or politic-ing against them, I simply decided to forgive and move on. While it doesn't absolve them from the wrong they did to me, that's not really my job. The best and highest solution to the problem. It did take a minute and the red eventually faded back to light but it's now over and done with and I've set myself free from the issues. And kharmacially I know it was the best choice available! So when one wrongs you, remember I said to F' em...and if that's not enough, quote Oscar Wilde: "Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them more!".

3 comments:

Becky said...

I LOVE IT!! I sooooo know how you feel! The anger and frustration can consume you so much that it becomes more than the original matter at hand. I, too, had to let go and let God because I was ready to take things to a completely different level. You then realize that they aren't worth it. They are responsible for their actions as we are responsible for ours. It's VERY hard to let things go sometimes, but in the long run its very much worth it. Great, great, great blog!!!!

Kristian said...

Good for you lady. I've been reading lot of spiritual books lately and all of them say that forgiveness is a gift to yourself and the greatest act of God we can commit. Although I know that to be true, it's been one of the biggest challenges in my life. I've learned that staying angry at someone and not forgiving them makes me a victim and gives my power away. So I'm working to always make a conscious effort to forgive and free myself of the emotional burden of anger.

Karla said...

Way to overcome the anger. Holding on to anger and grudges is time- and soul-counsuming. Every millisecond of our lives are precious and should be devoted to self-betterment and servicing others.

Good for you!

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