'Cause I Am THAT Chick!

I have a ton of characteristics - I can be fun, spontaneous, outgoing, bold, cool, optimistic. Most people view me as a very charasmatic, self-assured, confident person. I'm sure if you took a poll, everyone would say I was outgoing. But, there are a few that know the REAL truth - I am pretty shy. ESPECIALLY when it comes to guys I like!

Yes, I have been known on several occasions to literally fall in love in the club. Those were real life instances of "love at first site" so the "love" took me over so my nerves couldn't get in the way. In my more traditional relationships the beginning was always kind of bumpy because I can be so shy. Crushes are hard for me because I never know if I've done enough or if I'm doing too much. I can drive myself a little nutty.

Well, I've driven myself to that place of nuttiness.

I've got a crush. And I like him!

Problem is I've only seen once and I believe that I was so real and open with how I felt. Well, I did believe that until I told my friends what happened and they said I wasn't (well they didn't say I wasn't, they said maybe I should do more). I feel like I put it all out there and his lack of a response means he wasn't interested and so oh well. They feel that I didn't put it out there and he probably just doesn't know so I should call.

ME CALL?

Don't they know who I am! I'm DC! I'm like a pretty girl. A prize. A dime. I've got "good" hair. I got azz. Clearly they didn't see the dimples! I watch football and know how to cook. Let's not even discuss how down I am - Simply put I am THAT CHICK! Why should I have to call!?!?!? He should see me, see who and what I am and if he doesn't SCREW HIM - because I'm like me! His bad if he doesn't recognize.

But my friend asked me to consider that maybe it is my bad since I'm the one with the crush and I'm the one who's not getting what I want. I hate it when Mistie is right so I consulted Chante looking for a different answer, one that would support me. She had the audacity to say, "Well let's just play devil's advocate - have you done your part?" Or some crap to that extent. I was like WOW! Not only didn't I get the crush but now my girl's are ganging up on me. Where is Karla when I need her!!! Before I could speed dial Seattle it hit me that this was all my ego! Ego always needs to feel right. Ego makes us play the victim. Ego likes the drama. Ego is always the loud, judgemental voice.

Ego was driving the vehicle that helped me arrive to Nuttyville!

So I didn't call Karla. I didn't call the crush. I decided to breathe. Because I am that chick and I need a minute to decide what I'm going to say when I call (or text, or email) ...