Tough Love

It is no secret that I love VH1 reality shows and I'm extremely grateful that Vh1 happens to play well in my current no cable situation. Tonight a new show called Tough Love debuted (it is also no secret that I long to be in a loving committed relationship).

So the show is about these women that have been having issues with dating - well they want a man (or husband) and for whatever reason they don't have one. The women are all of different backgrounds and having different issues. Tonight's premiere episode started with this exercise where the women walked out in front of random guys who gave their honest opinion on the women's appearance. It was hurtful but extremely honest. Most of the women got super upset when they heard what the men had to say. Immediately they began rationalize how what the guys said was not true.

This made me realize something about my life - I'm not always a fan of the truth. I can sometimes be more accepting of the rose colored glasses view on things. For instance, I have this male friend that is BRUTALLY NO HOLDS BARRED honest with me. He tells me exactly what's on his mind ALL THE TIME and sometimes it hurts me to the core. Why? If I'm honest there are several reasons.First of all, I am a sensitive person and his comments are sometimes just not what I want to hear. Another common reason I get upset is because his words play on one of my many insecurities (I'm sure he has no idea but sometimes it is like he's read my journal and taking jabs at all my personal issues). Sometimes it is that I do not want to accept what he is saying as so - I think that's what rang out truest tonight while watching the show. These women just didn't want to accept what these guys were saying as true. They, like me sometimes, were just fighting the reality of the truth.

Don't get me wrong, like most people I say I want the truth all the time. But the truth is harsh sometimes (just cause it is true doesn't mean it feels good). And it can hurt especially coming from men who single girls like myself want to date (and grow to love). As I grow stronger as a woman, I am learning to be more accepting of the truth and recognizing it for what is - some one's honest opinion. In the future I am going to listen more to the truth but don't take it on as my truth. Like most opinions, I'm going to discern what is useful to my growth and use it and discard the rest. That sounds healthier ;)

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