I love my girls but there's something about my guy friends (not guys I date but my regular friends). When it comes to dating it doesn't always work out, but as far as just friends or hanging, I'm a guys kind of girl. I'm very laid back in a very atypical way for most of my female friends. My boys don't treat me like a girl LOL. They just treat me regular.
This started at a young age. When I was young I was a latch-key kid. That meant that while my grandmother and aunts worked, I stayed home alone. My grandmother's brother would come by and because he was pretty popular all of my other uncles and older male relatives would come by too - I'd be the only girl but they didn't treat me any different. They were all very successful (my uncle was the owner of a funeral home, all my other uncles were entrepreneurs and educators and all of them were extremely hard working). They'd ask what I was bringing to the table so I learned to make their fav' cocktails and was their bartender. They were older and had little tolerance for excessive questions, nagging or whining. I figured that out early on that if I wanted to hang (and make my weekly wage of cash, books and special food treats), I was going to have to chill out. They did a lot of fun stuff and always taught me things about life so I chilled out and just hung. In retrospect, I see how those days influence so much of my life now. I also didn't have many girl friends in my age group early on either (my girl cousins lived far away and I only got to see them on holidays or weekends but never randomly during the week). My first real friends were Bull and June, the neighbor boys. (Well actually Bull was my real friend, June was too grown to play around with us lol.) They never treated me like a girl though-they didn't like beat me up or make me do crazy stuff like throw spiders at me - but they also didn't treat me like I was fragile. Like with my relatives it was very clear that if I was going to hang, I was gonna have to just hang. As I got older and did get female friendships, they were a lot less chill or accepting. Everything was different with girls - especially the ending of friendships. With my boys, when things never really ended. If we didn't hang for a while, the next time we did, it was the same. Friendships with girls on the other hand didn't go like that - the departure was always filled with drama.
I do well in friendships with guys because I get dudes (lol - disclaimer: this only works with dudes I don't like; add the component of like to the equation and I have no freakin' clue!). Most guys I know would say I was one of the coolest girls they know or have met. Because of my relationship with guys I've always dreamed of things being like back in the day w/my uncles and older male relatives. Once they saw what I had to offer, they accepted me into the fold of things (hey, for them having their drinks correct was a big deal! lol). They treated me like and equal and took care of me. Because they took care of me, I took care of them - we were a team. And it was a special bond - I was like one of them so there wasn't any issue with their wives, daughters or granddaughters. My place was secure because the nature of my relationship with them was i no way a threat to anyone else. My vision has always been to be the only female in my crew - respected by my peers for whatever it was I brought to the table. It is important to me to be supportive of a strong base of men but not in some damsel in distress position or the freak trick that hangs with the dudes kind of way, but in a doing my part position, bringing stuff to the table position or she's a girl but just like me type way. I'm not sure if that is in the plan but I hope so...
This started at a young age. When I was young I was a latch-key kid. That meant that while my grandmother and aunts worked, I stayed home alone. My grandmother's brother would come by and because he was pretty popular all of my other uncles and older male relatives would come by too - I'd be the only girl but they didn't treat me any different. They were all very successful (my uncle was the owner of a funeral home, all my other uncles were entrepreneurs and educators and all of them were extremely hard working). They'd ask what I was bringing to the table so I learned to make their fav' cocktails and was their bartender. They were older and had little tolerance for excessive questions, nagging or whining. I figured that out early on that if I wanted to hang (and make my weekly wage of cash, books and special food treats), I was going to have to chill out. They did a lot of fun stuff and always taught me things about life so I chilled out and just hung. In retrospect, I see how those days influence so much of my life now. I also didn't have many girl friends in my age group early on either (my girl cousins lived far away and I only got to see them on holidays or weekends but never randomly during the week). My first real friends were Bull and June, the neighbor boys. (Well actually Bull was my real friend, June was too grown to play around with us lol.) They never treated me like a girl though-they didn't like beat me up or make me do crazy stuff like throw spiders at me - but they also didn't treat me like I was fragile. Like with my relatives it was very clear that if I was going to hang, I was gonna have to just hang. As I got older and did get female friendships, they were a lot less chill or accepting. Everything was different with girls - especially the ending of friendships. With my boys, when things never really ended. If we didn't hang for a while, the next time we did, it was the same. Friendships with girls on the other hand didn't go like that - the departure was always filled with drama.
I do well in friendships with guys because I get dudes (lol - disclaimer: this only works with dudes I don't like; add the component of like to the equation and I have no freakin' clue!). Most guys I know would say I was one of the coolest girls they know or have met. Because of my relationship with guys I've always dreamed of things being like back in the day w/my uncles and older male relatives. Once they saw what I had to offer, they accepted me into the fold of things (hey, for them having their drinks correct was a big deal! lol). They treated me like and equal and took care of me. Because they took care of me, I took care of them - we were a team. And it was a special bond - I was like one of them so there wasn't any issue with their wives, daughters or granddaughters. My place was secure because the nature of my relationship with them was i no way a threat to anyone else. My vision has always been to be the only female in my crew - respected by my peers for whatever it was I brought to the table. It is important to me to be supportive of a strong base of men but not in some damsel in distress position or the freak trick that hangs with the dudes kind of way, but in a doing my part position, bringing stuff to the table position or she's a girl but just like me type way. I'm not sure if that is in the plan but I hope so...
Only Females In Their Crew I Admire:
Wonder Woman was a beast with her lasso-able to help the Superfriends out of peril!
Secretary of State Hilary Clinton made the seamless transition into her new position and rocks in the top position under the President and Vice President.
Fergie goes hard with the Black Eye Peas - giving her all in the group but excelling as a solo artist and actress. (I wanted to list Lauryn Hill or Lil' Kim here but the fact Lil Kim dated Biggie and there are rumors of Lauryn and Wyclef, that didn't jive with my idea of only female in my crew.)
The late Georgia Frontierre was the only female owner and chairman in the National Football League - and her Rams won the Super Bowl! (Only one other female owner in the league.)
Halle Berry is the only female African-American Oscar winners in the lead category (Monique, Jennifer Hudson, Whoopi Goldberg and Hattie McDaniel all won but as SUPPORTING actress)
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